A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:If someone you were once with still wears something you gave them when you were together ands still wears it after you aren't. Do you think they wear it because it's a reminder of you or because it's from you, or do you think they don't think anything of it after and just wear it without much thought.I'm asking because I gave this girl a bracelet of mine from a festival that she liked when we were together and then she wore it all the time. And i've noticed it's been 3 months since we broke up and in her photos and when I saw her the other night she was wear wearing it still! I don't know whether she wears it because it's a reminder of me or because as she said she never takes her wristbands off, she keeps them on till they've worn away themselves.I just wondered if you think that's the case? Or do you think there's the chance that she might ever look at that bracelet every now and then and think about me? Or do you think there's probably no thought there about me... I don't want to get back together with her by the way, there's no feelings there. But I was just curious if that could be the case...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): she could simply just like the bracelet and not even remember who gave it to her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): I can see this from both points of view.
If she likes the bracelet she will continue to wear it without thought, as really its her and shes entitled too, as someone said you don't throw away everything they gave you, espeically not if you use it.
HOWEVER, it could potentially mean something, but not garanteed, so please don't get your hopes up. I say this because although my first statement is correct if I split up with someone but still wanted them/missed them I would still wear it because it would be close to me. I still have my ex's guitar plectrum, I dont use it but he gave it me years ago.
My biggest thought would be that it means nothing and you shouldn't think anymore of it, but it does make you think if you wanted someone back, you would still wear the stuff. Please don't let me get your hopes up incase thats not the case.
The big thing is, who broke up with who? If she broke up with you I would suggest it means nothing, however it could still mean nothing if you broke up with her. I know you say you don't want her back and I'm not going to judge that as I've been accused on here of wanting more out of friendships etc when its jsut curiousity. It does sound like you do in a way but if you don't thats fine, could be that your abit freaked out by it.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 I wear jewelry, dresses, and designer sunglasses given to me by exes because I love the apparel and don't hate those exes.
The things given to me by the exes I strongly dislike, however, are locked away in boxes full of sh*t that I really ought to have thrown away by now.
So, your ex probably remembers you fondly, but that doesn't mean she wants to get back together with you either. It also means that you're very good at picking out bracelets.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): I have a pair of inexpensive earrings that an ex gave me and I absolutely love them.
I still wear them... because I absolutely love them, not because I'm carrying some kind of secret torch for my ex. I had the chance to get back together with him and chose not to do so. Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): Your real questions beneath the question is, does she really want you back? Does she still have feelings for you?
No, she doesn't want you back. Yes, if she ever cared for you at all, she does still have feelings for you. However; those feelings have changed. The bracelet is a piece of jewelry that has a story; but the sentiments behind it have now changed. It is a gift from "somebody that she used to know."
I was given a very nice pair of slippers last Christmas from someone who dumped me. I wear them, because they're nice slippers. I don't even think about who gave them to me anymore. They're now just among my other nice possessions.
I cared about him, and I care about the slippers only as nice slippers. I don't connect the two anymore. You must allow yourself to accept the relationship is now over.
There is no real symbolism in her wearing the bracelet. It is a habit and she likes it. It goes with everything.
You are clinging to a little hope. You need to know that there is still some part of you that she still cherishes.
Is the bracelet a symbol of that?
NO, it isn't a symbol of hope. It's just a bracelet. It is the thought behind it that she cherishes, and always will. There were good times in your relationship she will always remember. Please go in peace knowing this.
You once were together. Then it ended. There will always be some trace of you in her heart, for as long as she lives. There was a reason the relationship ended; but it doesn't necessarily mean that she has to destroy anything to prove it is over. She has accepted that in her heart and mind; as should you.
You will heal and the false-hope will fade in time. We cling to it, to help ourselves to believe we didn't invest our feelings in vain. We hope the love wasn't a lie.
You don't want to feel forgotten and that your feelings didn't matter. I know those feelings. I feel them myself. I've felt them everyday, since I broke up. I'm learning to live with them. It really doesn't matter anymore.
However; you must train your mind and heart to accept her absence, and to no longer search for the hope of her return. That way, you will be able to move on.
I didn't think it was possible at first, but it's happening. Give it more time. Getting over a breakup is a long process. There is no way to fast-forward or by-pass any of those little things that haunt you from the past.
Right now, it isn't important what she feels. It's important what you feel. That you get over your pain, and get through the grief of your loss. Stop searching for signs of hope. Search for your freedom and strength to move on, and resume living. You can do it. It might not seem possible now; but you have to stop holding on to nothing.
When you finally let go, my friend. You won't fall. You won't be overwhelmed with loneliness and consumed by pain.
That's just a symptom of the grief. It makes you feel hopeless. Now that she's gone, you think you need her more than ever. That isn't true. Desperation creates a lot of crazy thoughts. Every emotion is amplified by the grief.
You will be okay. Day by day, you'll grow stronger. That bracelet will become a distant memory; as will the grief you feel for losing her. One day the bracelet will break or be lost. The memory of you giving it to her, will be placed deep in her heart; but it will be a good memory.
Someday, she'll only be a good memory too. Just somebody that you used to know.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 July 2013):
 I'm guessing she likes it and thus wear it.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 July 2013):
 She wears it because she likes it. Breaking up with someone doesn't mean we have to torch everything they ever gave us.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): Could be a little bit of both. Maybe she loves the bracelet, but has fond memories of your time together. I think its impossible not to think about the past sometimes.
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