A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What exactly does it mean by 'high maintenace'..The guy I'm dating now its been a few weeks and the reason he dint ask me out earlier is because he thought I would be 'high maintenance'..what did that mean:( ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Gmmick  +, writes (5 February 2013):
It's kind of an insult/compliment/insult. Basically, he thought you would be very time consuming and needy. He thought this because you most likely are very attractive to him and appear to have everything in order (well put together). The other side of the insult part is that he thinks he would need to put more time and money into keeping you happy, which isn't sure if it is worth the effortObviously he's gotten over this since he mustered up the courage to ask you out
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 The female anonymous post about her partner not getting her a bottle of wine is perfect explanation.
One man did not find her high maintenance and yet another did.
Personally for me reading her post, I see her as high maintenance too. But clearly she does not view herself as such and will be well suited to find a man who also does not think of her as high maintenance.
I guess much like beauty, High maintenance is in the eye of the beholder.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): I guess a major difference in our attitudes anon is that while I'd have thought of the wine and gotten it, my fiancée wouldn't have just assumed I should think of it and she would have brought her own bottle too. She then had two bottles of wine to drink. She was pleasantly suprized that I had wine for her but she wasn't going to sit there pissed off if I only had beer and she didn't drink it, she thought ahead and brought her own so she could enjoy the night regardless.
If she had a flat tire she'd fix it herself. She'd call me to let me know she has one, she's going to be late and that she's going to get it fixed and call a cab if she needs a lift and then I'd ask her where she was and I'd go out and help her.
But that's just the type of woman I work best with. Independent and strong. The type that will look for solutions before there is a problem rather than just expect things of me and look for reasons to be pissed off if I didn't magically think of her needs beforehand. Like the wine thing, she'd rather not let the fact that I might not think of it spoil the night so she'd bring her own. Or she'd call me early in the day to pick her up a bottle if she didn't get a chance to grab one on her way over.
I love doing things for her and I bend over backwards to help her the difference between her and someone who is high maintenance in my mind is she doesn't expect it from me, and that makes her grateful for the help I do give. She can and will do all these things herself so if I don't think of something she's not going to judge me or be pissed off that I didn't, just grateful for the help when I do and to ensure she's not pissed off she'll think of that thing herself and do it. She too looks for ways to make my life easier and ways she can help me. I'm a fully independent and wealthy man, there is literally nothing I need from anyone but she still manages to find ways to make my life 10 times easier, just I do with her. She has never taken for granted that I'm just going to drop everything to help her, she'll sort things out herself and knows that if I'm in a position to help I will drop what I'm doing and go do it.
I would definitely consider someone who thought I was an inconsiderate dickhead for not buying her wine was high maintenance, maybe I was busy getting all the things ready and I just forgot that one little thing. It's very easy to forget little things like that when you're preparing for a date.
I mean I forgot my wallet one time and showed up to the restaurant to meet her outside and she had to pay for the taxi I got and the dinner because of that. That make me a bad date for that one slip of the mind? She didn't think so, we had an amazing evening and she even had a good laugh with the waiters at my expense when she told them how I turned up to our date. I went home and got my wallet after the meal and I paid for all our drinks, entrance to the club etc.
In essence I personally think high maintenance is a person who demands things of another and when they don't think of those things they're very negatively judged. "I'm dumping him because he forgot to get me wine." That's high maintenance, too many little things that could turn that person sour against you, which means you have to work hard not to forget anything or she'll be pissed.
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus +, writes (4 February 2013):
High maintainence means, expensive taste in everything, expecting alot especially financially i.e you wan't him to buy you shoes, cosmetics, take you out to dinner and you never pay e.t.c If thats what you expect from him then your high maintainance. Nothing wrong with making an effort to do things, thats not high maintainance thats just caring about the person. Eg the guy cooks are great dinner and buys a bottle of nice wine, candles, background music, thats putting in effort. But if your needs are mostly monetary then your high maintainence.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): it is a negative meaning. It means being selfish and self centered, and annoying, needing him to do a lot of things for you or change a lot of habits for you. It means not being understanding or patient. It means being demanding. It means being critical and criticizing him when you don't get what you want.
basically, it's not a good thing when someone thinks you are "high maintenance".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): I had a boyfriend who never considered me being high maintenance and was always there for me, whenever I needed him. It's not that he spent money on me, it's just when I needed help he helped me. For example I m very bad with direction. He would pick me up from a point where I knew how to get to and we drove together further on. He always had to be sure I get in my car where it was dark outside.It's not about a woman being a princess, but a common sense of being watched over by a guy only because this is what people do when they care for each other, they do things for each other.He would get food for me when I was coming over, and a bottle of my favorite wine. It was nice to be treated like that, and noone considered me a high maintenance.Then few years later I had another boyfriend short lived. It was his favorite expression that I was high maintenance. The guy was carrying this new title of mine like his personal logo. Under this logo he did absolutely nothing. I remember one day when we just decided to stay in, I came to his house, and all he had is beer, he didn't even bothered to buy wine for me, knowing that I don't drink beer.And when I mentioned this to him, he again said that I need to stop to be such high maintenance, and I should bring my own bottle of wine.It was our last night together. Then later I saw one of his friends who told me that this ex boyfriend of mine kept telling everyone what a high maintenance I was. The funny part is I still can't recall what exactly he did for me. I can't not recall a single action that was directed toward pleasuring me, except sex. I only could remember episodes when he acted like a total dick toward me refusing to help me out in certain situations.I remembered how my tire blew up in a middle of the road, and it was our first date with him. I called him, and I thought that he would come and get me. He said that's not what he planned, and it's too far for him anyway. I had to wait for AAA for half an hour to change my tire. And went on our date an hour and a half later.He basically displayed complete ignorance to me when I needed even a slight assistance from him. We dated 3 month, and I just left without even thinking twice.You can put a name on everything, usually people excuse their behavior by not wanting to do anything in a relationship calling someone high maintenance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): Carry On Dick, who was judging? People can live any way that makes them happy. I have no problem with how others choose to live. Just stating an opinion that I think 'princess' is a synonym of 'useless' that when a person calls another high maintenance it means too much work to please them.
A person who loves showering a useless person with gifts and doing everything for them isn't really going to call them "too high maintenance".
For all we know this boy could be like others have stated and is just too lazy to even do the minor things necessary to get the OP.
I can only state what it means to me, just as you can only state what it means to you. I'm allowed express a different opinion and the OP can make her own choice as to what it means and ask him what he meant to see the exact reason he thought that.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 February 2013):
Well I am “high maintenance” if you consider what it costs to keep my hair and my nails done the way I like. My clothes cost more than my husbands as do my shoes and what I call hair toys. COST of my looking feminine and sexy… HIGH… and I need to maintain it so to me MY high maintenance is more physical than emotional. To my husband (and myself) this is an acceptable way to be high maintenance. Of course we can afford it so it’s not that over the top for us.
The other way (the negative connotation of it) is not.
FOR some people HIGH MAINTENANCE is about the emotions… this to me is not acceptable. Demanding time, demanding energy… in fact, DEMANDING anything is not acceptable to me.
EXPECTING anything above and beyond normal common courtesy is also not acceptable.
I had a husband (now an ex) who was emotionally high maintenance… always needing to be coddled and told ‘I love you, I need you I want you, you did good you are the best” it gets tiresome.
It’s all about the needs and proper treatment vs the wants and the demands for things…
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female
reader, Carry On Dick  +, writes (1 February 2013):
 @ Cerberus...There are men out there who actually do enjoy catering to women who are considered to be high mainenance, if they are happy in life then who is to judge them of this way of life and happiness? There are women out there also who like to cater to men who are consider to be high mainenance so whats the difference? There is no difference. Sometimes you get both partner who are considered high mainenance and they are happy in life so who are others to judge?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): It means he thinks you're too much effort.
Basically someone who thinks quotes like this are both cute and true http://cdn.indulgy.com/w6/u8/KD/44264428751720520523255747602n.jpg
They're not.
I have a couple of female friends on Facebook always posting crap about "treating her like a princess" and guess what, everyone thinks they're high maintenance. Because princess's are lazy, demanding and do nothing to earn being treated well they just expect that's the way they're supposed to be treated because they're more special than everyone else.
OP just ask him why he thought that, he'll probably tell you. but if he's friends with you on Facebook and you post that kind of stuff a lot or are always moaning about menial crap then that's why.
Those female friends I talked about, they're always posting moans about menial shite. "Ugh, FML! I forgot to switch off the bathroom light, now I'm in bed and don't want to get up, someone please come over and turn off my light, I need hugs after that." etc. Basically they just seem like a useless person who can't do anything for themselves and want to find a guy to do everything.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (1 February 2013):
 The other answers have hit the nail on the head.Consider the following questions:Do you expect to be spoilt regularly by your boyfriend?Do you expect him to spend freely and generously on you as that shows that he loves you?Do you expect to be only taken out to very nice expensive places?Do you expect him to devote almost all of his time and thoughts to you to the exclusion of all other hobbies he enjoys?Do you have an expensive taste in clothes?Are you choosy and picky with people?Are you up and down emotionally often?Do you expect your boyfriend to make you happy and if you weren't then would you consider that he wasn't fulfilling his role properly?If you answer yes to any of these questions, you could be perceived as being high maintenance.
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female
reader, Carry On Dick +, writes (1 February 2013):
Theres nothing wrong with making extra effort, if you love somebody that much then it shouldnt be a problem.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2013): You would hear these words from a lazy guy who just cant be bothered to make that extra effort. Says it all really doesnt it.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (1 February 2013):
High maintenance girls are seldom happy and often complain, with a demanding-like attitude, resulting in her bf doing more things than usual to make her happy.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (1 February 2013):
It means that dating you will be overly expensive - either monetarily, emotionally, or both.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 February 2013):
He means he thought dating you would be too expensive.
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female
reader, elleay +, writes (1 February 2013):
alot of effort basically... like you'd demand alot.
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