A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:We are in 12th grade and both in the same class.We were never close until the start of 12th grade.We aren't close now either but it's better than before.I don't know how it turned like this, but in the past few weeks he acts strangely to say so.Every day he would touch me and it wasn't by accident or he'll come up to me and make small talk.He would either touch or caress my arm, stroke my back, caress me on the top of my head or he would sometimes put his arm around my shoulders and draw me close to his chest or body.Once when he was near me and talking to me he said ''wait'' and he leaned in and took a strand of my hair and put it behind my ear.Then he leaned back in his seat with a smile and said ''better''.Last week was the most intense so far cause he looked and stared a lot at me.I would catch him looking at me often and making it obvious and smiling and when I asked me why he does it he said ''I like looking at you.You are beautiful'' and once he asked me if it really bothers me and if he should stop.Or he would take his chair and come sit with me when the teacher was absent.I don't know if he's just playing with me, a way to kill boredom at school or if he's genuine.We both know he puts on a mask in public, he creates an image so people don't know who's he for real.He's acting.Once when we were talking I told him I'm unable to trust him and that's why I can't open up to him right now, cause he asked me why I'm so prude towards him.And he told me ''Maybe it's my fault too as I don't always know how to act with people.But even though I fool around and make fun, I don't do that with people I care about.And I care about you, you are dear to me'' and I asked him why he feels that way since we are not that close and he doesn't care about other classmates.And he said ''You are a good and nice girl.I feel it.I feel a spiritual connection with you, like I knew you from a long time.I feel you are the type of person I can tell anything without the fear of being judged'' He nailed it there.That's how I am generally.Why does he do this to me? Why is he like this lately? He doesn't do this with any other girl in our class.Does he only want to be friends? Then why all the touching? Sometimes when he touches me and looks at me I can feel his affection and I can see it in his eyes.So maybe he's not just playing me.But he has a girlfriend for 8 months or more so I don't understand a thing! Is he just making fun of me?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (18 March 2014):
 The real question is, what if you *were* his girlfriend, and you found out that he was touching another woman, playing with her hair, telling her how beautiful she was and staring at her?? How would you feel if this guy was doing that to someone else??
Truly, it's disgusting. This guy is flirting and touching another girl who isn't his long term girlfriend. This means he wants to cheat on her, and he is being unfaithful to be sure. If I knew a guy was doing that and had a girlfriend, I'd tell him not to look at me or talk to me. I'd tell him "Go back to your girlfriend. I don't date cheaters".
He wants sex and a girl's attention on the side. You're swooning when you should be recoiling. He's treating you very badly because he wants your physical attention without offering you anything in return. All he thinks is that a little hair-twirl, a little eye contact, and some cheap worthless flattery is enough to buy you.
Is it all your price is?? Or do you value yourself enough to demand that someone who solicits you will be faithful to you?? Because right now, if he can cheat on his girlfriend, and you're a willing accomplice, then your price is pretty cheap.
Do the right thing. Send him packing and tell him not to bother you again until he's done right by his girlfriend by ending that relationship honorably.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2014): He has a girlfriend and he's making passes at you; because you're pretty. Don't be confused.
Stop allowing it to happen; because you don't want word to get back to his girlfriend that you are encouraging his flirting. She may retaliate.
If he's interested; he should have shown all this attention when he didn't have a girlfriend.
Don't get caught-up in all this touching and holding. It's wrong as long as he still claims to have a girlfriend. It is not by any means innocent. It's cheating; and you're cheating by allowing it to happen. You don't have to kiss or have sex. Body contact and persistent flirting is technically cheating.
He's prepping you to take advantage of your feelings. He knows you're crushing on him, and he is stroking his own ego. He has a pretty girl wrapped around his little-finger.
Smile and pull back when he tries to touch you. Or the next time it might be his angry girlfriend giving your hair a good yank! There could be a scene, and it will not be pretty.
Would you want your boyfriend acting like him with other girls?
He's a player.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2014): What does he want?
Sex!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 March 2014):
Of course he's not making fun of you. He obviously likes you in a somewhat superficial way. But he seems to not want to cross some predetermined line because of his gf, so he's content with flirting.
Don't expect more from him unless he leaves his girl.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (17 March 2014):
 Simple ! He is a basic womanizer, and he wants to dive in your pants. In what he told you, there is nothing related to love, and everything is about (his) desire. You will want "it" to happen or not, that's your choice. But nothing deep can emerge from that sort of flirt.
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