A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really need advice and any help is greatly appreciated. i had a "friends with benefits" situation that lasted 8months with a guy but we both had feelings for each other. lets call him "Bulk." Bulk told me he was planning to make me his girlfriend and have me meet his mother but alot of his friends and especially his brother got in the way...so he dumped me. he said he would call me back that same night and he didnt. i cried for a full week over this. he texted me about 4 months after the split saying "(myname)?" and i didnt respond. i didnt respond partly because i feel he didnt deserve a response and because i just had nothing to say to him. i blocked him off of facebook and cut all ties. it has been this way for approximately 10 months. over the last few months, i have been receiving many calls from an unknown number and i do not answer them.i went to the movies with a new guy in my life who has been taking me out and we have alot of fun together and i saw two of Bulk's friends. 4 days later, i get a call from a name that i recognize but i dont know the number. i pick up the phone to say hello and the person listens... then hangs up. then it clicks to me. it was the name Bulks mother. why would he be calling me? he ended things with me. i am a good girl and he knows that but he lost his chance. my problem is that everytime i try to move on with someone new, an ex tries to come back into the picture. i never dealt with these problems i just avoided them (ex. blocking off facebook, not texting back) he took advantage of me before and i dont want him to interrupt my life this time. he has been trying to contact me even BEFORE he saw me with my new beau. what do you guys think he wants and how should i approach the situation this time?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 block any number you can that he might use and continue to block him
It does not really matter what he wants.
he lied to you in the past and will lie again.
best to no worry about him and move on.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 January 2013):
 Does it really matter what he wants from you? He treated you very badly and has made no real effort to explain or apologize.
I'd contact his mother and ask her to tell him to stop contacting you. Or ask your mother and father to contact his parents to tell him to knock it off.
Or pick up the phone, write an email (save a copy) or write a snail mail letter and spell it out: "I do not wish to hear from you any further. The phone calls and stalkerish behaviour needs to END NOW. Any further attempts to contact me will be considered STALKING and I will notify your family and mine immediately as well as telling police and legal authorities."
Tell him to take a hike (we used to say "take a long walk off a short pier") and back it up by telling your family and friends and his family and friends that his contacting you in this creepy way will no longer be tolerated.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, jadedpearl +, writes (17 January 2013):
 It sounds to me like he still wants those benefits and does not want you to move on to someone else. I would just continue to cut ties with him. Like you mentioned, he had his chance and he blew it. It is time to move on. He will eventually get over it and learn from his mistakes.
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