A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is probably going to be long, but please stick through because I really need some advice.I've been seeing a guy since September, but I can't tell exactly what we are. I met him last summer at work and I instantly liked him. I'm usually pretty shy around people I don't know, but with him I was instantly comfortable with him which made me like him more. We got to know each other pretty well and, before he took a leave for school, I decided to give him my number. We went out twice and then on the third date we slept together. Since then, we usually only hang out at his apartment and have sex. For awhile, I'd only talk to him on the weekends unless I contacted him through the week and it got to the point where I had no idea what we were doing and I decided to ask him. He said that we were 'just having fun' and that he didn't have time for a serious relationship while he's working on his Ph.D. I told him that I understood that, but I wanted to know if it was going to eventually turn into something or if it was just going to be having fun until it was over. He told he liked me and he liked spending time with me, so he'd like to see it go somewhere eventually. I agreed with that and we kept doing what we were doing until it came to a point in November when I hadn't seen him at all for over three weeks. I called him and told him that I didn't think I could do it anymore, and he asked if we could still be friends. Three days later I took it back though. I felt like I hadn't given him a fair chance because I had so many expectations going into whatever this is and I wanted to give it a few more months to see if it would go anywhere. Also, I'm pretty crazy about this guy. We saw each other the next weekend and he had just gotten back from a party, so he was a little drunk. The whole time he just kept asking me if I was going to leave again. I told him no, and went on with the night, but I was a little confused. Since I took back what I said, things have changed with him. I hear from him almost everyday, just about random things. He'll ask me how work was or tell me something that happened during his day or recommend a movie for me. I also see him quite a bit. I was over at his apartment probably 9 out of the 21 days over Christmas Break, which is a lot compared to the one day on a weekend that I was seeing him this fall. Now that school's started again, I don't see him through the week again, but he still texts me a lot and we went to see a movie last weekend. I guess my question is, are we actually heading towards being in a relationship now? He acts more like a boyfriend, but I'm still not sure what's going on. I need an outsiders opinion on whether it seems like something's changed for the better, or if I'm just making all of it up because I'm clearly falling in love with this guy. Any help would be amazing because I'm going crazy over this! Thank you!
View related questions:
at work, christmas, drunk, shy, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 January 2013):
 yeah you are seeing what you want to see.
stop going to his apartment and having sex and see what happens.
you say he went to a party without you... WHY? why didn't he take you? Because you are a fuck buddy... nothing more
don't listen to his words watch his behavior.
if he cared about you, you would hang out with him and his friends.
if he cared about you he would take you out for meals and other things.
He is saying all the right things to keep you in his life.
STOP having sex and watch what happens.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 Well, I don't know how to break this to you but...
Point one. He said he is more interested in his PhD than you.
Point two. He sees you as "a bit of fun".
Point three. He might have never told you that he loves you. (This does not include him saying it when he is drunk)
Point four. You are suffering from delusions because you are in love with him.
I trust this information has been of assistance to you. I have never met you or him before, so I can't give a very accurate answer. But it sounds like he is more focused on his goals than you. All the best.
...............................
|
