A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with this guy for on and off for 2 years and we broke up about 10 months ago. I was completely heartbroken....This guy has hurt me so much in the past 10 months that we've been broken up. He went from breaking up with me to dating a new girl 2 weeks after we broke up to giving me a bunch of mixed signals. I was a complete mess for 5 months, while it just seem like our break up didnt even effect him one bit. So I stopped talking to him. Just when I've finally moved on and was able to go through a day without bursting into tears...he came back into my life acting like nothing had happened that we're the best of friends. He say we can never be together again, but yet whenever we talk (which isnt very often) he would always ask me about my love life and telling me that I'm cute, funny, etc... what does he want from me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): @ bardia, holy crap that sounds so much like him! I've never thought about that way before
@ Cerberus its not cause I'm lonely or weak. Its just every girl have that one guy in their life that they love so much no matter what happens..even if they're not together anymore. That's why I can never fully get rid of him from life.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 February 2012):
 he wants to not feel guilty about breaking up... "we left it as good friends" in his mind this is ok.
block his number and his email.
move on.
living well is the best revenge.
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A
male
reader, Relationship.Chef +, writes (3 February 2012):
 Stop guessing.
Unless you have "amazing powers of deduction" (badly quoting of "Pink Floyd"), even then you won't be able to guess what he's thinking.
If you can read his mind, then, you're in luck.
If you know somebody who can read his mind (for certain), you're in luck.
Apart from that, there's only one way to find out for sure.
Ask him!
Have a conversation. You know, like adults... :)
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (3 February 2012):
 Yeah, I'd agree with the others although I'd temper it a little. I'm in a similar place as you. So he decides to waltz in so relaxed and "caring"? Nope. He had that, body and soul and he lost it. He realizes the attention and ego boosting he lost and wants it back. Too little too late, my friend. that's not love. That's the usury of a narcissist (google that word you might be surprised at the similar traits you find in him). No. We've spent too many tears on these who are broken beyond what we can fix or endure. No contact. Get yourself well & find someone who appreciates what they have. Hold fast. Don't let him play mind games with you-don't give him even one chance! That's pure evil. Love cares for & protects. He manipulates & tears down. If not now, it'll happen again once his attention-whore needs are filled & he moves onto the next new & shiny victim. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012): He wants to make sure you can't move on from him so he can have his ego stroked.
OP if this guy hurt you so badly then why do you allow him to be a part of your life? Are you that weak? Are you lonely? What? There is absolutely no benefit to you to have him there and what's worse is that this kind of shit, the mind games and stuff are just going to keep happening.
Dump the loser and move on.
Or you can continue to be his gimp, your choice.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (3 February 2012):
 He wants to get into your head. He's probably probing around to see if you're receptive to the idea. Unless you're willing to risk it, I would simply move on and counter his questions as "no of your business" (or phrased however you see appropriate). I personally work with the 3-strikes rule. You said you were on-off again over 2 years. If over that time, you've had 3 break-up's, call this done and move on.
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