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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend split from me a couple of months ago saying he loves me but doesn't know if his heart is in it, doesn't know if he is in love with me. I told him that it was the cruellest thing to do to someone and asked several times if he honestly didn't know and he said that was the honest truth. We then had no contact for approx 4 weeks until last Friday. He went away on a skiing trip with some guys from work and I received a text saying 'You're still the greatest girl I've ever met in my life and I still love you. I'm sorry for what I did, I cannot live with the thought that you hate me'. On their return I spoke to one of the guys who confirmed they had been drinking but whilst talking my ex had said, 'she's the only one I've ever truly loved'. Where does that leave me? I don't know whether to carry on as I am or try talking to him about it.
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (27 December 2005):
 I dont think your boyfriend was being cruel, he was being truthful, though Im sure it hurt. I have to give him some credit, because it doesnt sound like he was seeing anyone else. It sounds like he truly loves you and having that time apart made him see the light. It sounds like he gave himself time without being with anyone else.
Now it is your decision. You need to ask yourself if you still feel the same about him. Sometimes words can leave a permanent scar on your heart, taking away the strong feelings you once had.
He may now expect you to come running back. This is a good time for you to stop and re-evaluate your feelings for him. Let him know how much he hurt you with his words and actions, and see how he reacts. It will tell you how much he respects your feelings.
He has to know how seriously close he came to losing you, so that he does not repeat it. Think about what you want out of the relationship, what it would take to rekindle your love and dont settle for less. It sounds like there is a chance for your relationship and that there is enough love there for it to work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): Sometimes people need to take some space to re-evaluate thier feelings and what they want. He sounds like he really does love you, but maybe this scares him. People have a funny habit of getting out of things before they get hurt usually because the fear of being hurt is so great. I would talk to him, tell him you want to be with him but you dont want games, he either wants to be with you or doesnt. Whatever you do, dont let him see you on a 'casual' basis because he will then think he can manipulate the relationship to his needs only. Please be strong about it and make it clear what you want. The exact same scenario happened to my friend earlier this year. It took him 3 months to realise. He may choose not to be with you, but at least you know you were honest and allowed yourself to be vulnerable which is so strong. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (14 December 2005):
 Hi there. this is just my opinion but i dont think you should talk to him about it.The best i would do if i were u is to reply his text and say "no i dont hate u and i will always love u too".Leave it like that. He should be the one to come running back to you he ended the relationship.He should make all the extra effort and work to get u back then u will know he really means it this time. I have had alot of friends that have been in the same positions as u and they made all the moves to get the guy back only to be hurt again. Show a little interest with your text then allow him to make the next move if he doesnt make any moves then he isnt really in love with u.i am hoping he would cos he sound he as f he means it but u can never tell with guys. i hope i have been able to help u .i wish u all the best really.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): well i am some what in your position except my ex hasnt done that i love him alot and one minute he says it dont feel the same and then he goes and sleeps with someone i thought was my friend if i was you the best thing to do is to carry on with your life and let him regret what he lost b/c he put you through pane and its his turn to sit and realize how much you mean to him and maybe in the long run he will come to you personally and let you know how he feels.
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