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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hey:I'm in grade eleven, 16 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have been told that I'm attractive and have a good personality, and I am pretty popular. I don't exactly know why I haven't had a girlfriend before, but it's probably because I'm afraid of change. Whatever the reason is, it's irrelevant.It's pretty embarrassing, but my problem is that I don't know what having a girlfriend entails, all I know is that a girlfriend and boyfriend are two people who spend time together. I have no idea how to get a girlfriend, how to keep one, what to do when spending time with your girlfriend, when to know when it's time to break up with her, or any other stuff. I'm not sure if it's something you're able to state in a few paragraphs, but it is something that I would really like an answer to. I naturally want to spend time with girls, but I know nothing about having a girlfriend.Thank-you very much.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): I am the same like you. I'm 16 and in 10th grade and i've never had a girlfriend before. I was really jealous of friends, cause they say they've had like 2 or 3 already.
But I think i finally found the one for me.
This girl is in my band at school and we spend time together all the time. I liked but wasn't sure what to do. I took it slow over the past 2 months i think its time i summon up m corrage and ask her out.
I am a stutter so its hard for me to talk under stressed conditions. But this girl accepts me as who i am and what is on the inside of me. You need to find a girl like that who trully trusts you.
If i can do it anybody can do it.
Thank you for the comments above.
This really helped me out a lot.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2006): well.....some times you just need to take chances and ask a girl out! you just need to know how to act around them!
now im a girl who hangs with guys all the time! and one of my guy friends that is now my bf had no idea how to do anything!
ok well.......after u get a gf you should spend time with her like durring school
if u have classes with her......sit next to her
put your arm around her waist, or hold hands
dont wait for her to make the first move....lots of girls like it more if the guy takes the risk and makes the first move
if ur sitting next to her, put your hand on her leg
just hang with her likes shes one of your normal friends....but treat her like a girl and like shes super importaint
(also give her hugs!! it makes us feel special)
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Getting a girlfriend is a matter of feeling your way (not literally!) and making a series of best-guesses. Nobody has the method stitched up; some guys just have better luck than others.
As far as what the relationship entails, it's really a matter of enjoying the company of a person who makes you feel attractive and wanted. That usually includes kissing, touching and so forth, sometimes sex (not recommended at 16), and seeing each other in social circumstances. When you've been with one person for a while, you'll probably consider yourself a "couple" and not want to date other girls.
Be realistic, though. Most high-school relationships don't last much beyond the high school years. You're not going to find your Life Partner at 16, so look on going out as a way to practice interacting with women, and look at each relationship as being closer to the one you want for all time.
Do you have any friends who are girls and who you might want to go out with? If you do, it's a great start, because you can already talk to them. If not, it's still OK.
If you're interested in a particular girl, start with a smile, a genuine one. Look at her maybe a fraction of a second longer than necessary. (Girls pick up on this like bees on nectar.) Engage this girl in conversation about things you have in common, like people you know, schoolwork, upcoming events and so on. If you want to ask her out, don't worry. The worst she can say is "no thanks" and most girls are so flabbergasted to be asked out that they wouldn't dream of any answer other than YES, so your chances are pretty good.
Make your dates for low-key type events, like school sports, dances, amusement parks, movies or (my favourite) coffee. That way, you're not pressured to entertain each other with witty repartee for long periods.
If and when the time comes to break up, you try to do it honestly and as painlessly as possible. You don't lie, you don't give false impressions. It should follow The Golden Rule. You try to be kind but final.
The main thing is, nobody knows these rules automatically. You have to learn them as you go, so don't worry; you're not behind anyone else's experience. Go on and do your best. It's the classic case of "learn as you go".
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Well it seems like you are a late bloomer, which there is nothing wrong with that so was I. My advice to you is don't rush it start slow. If you are semi-popular then you have female friends. Get one of them to hook you up with a girlfriend of theirs. This will have a trickle affect. Having a girlfriend only means that you are spending time with a person and getting to know them. Its like one of your guy friends only intimate(if called for). Once you feel comfortable with eachother then you will feel more comfortable in doing other boyfriend and girlfriend things like holding hands and kissing.(You're too young for sex so forget that part til adulthood). The main thing to know is that at your age a relationship is supposed to just be fun and hanging out with eachother. Trust me you will know when it is time to break up. Remember no matter who your female friends hook you up with always be yourself and honesty most importantly is what counts. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, tequilarodeo +, writes (23 May 2006):
 I wouldn't know where to begin to tell you "how to get a girlfriend" but when it happens, everything will come pretty naturally. If it is someone you truely care about, then you should take your time to learn with there likes and dislikes are, and in turn they too will learn yours. There is no fool proof way to "keep a girlfriend" because you can't hold them against their will. It takes 2 to make a relationship work, and if you are truely compatable then you should not have to worry about keeping her.
As for spending time together, when you learn what she likes and what she dislikes you will find what both of you have in common, go to the movies, go out for pizza, lay on the lawn and watch the stars... whatever you like to do, chances are just spending time with her will make you happy.
Good Luck xoxo
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