| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: In your own opinion, what is your view on being "friends with benefits", meaning being friends, but still have a sexual relationships, and does it ever work? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): I am in a friends with bennifits (fwb) situation right now. My boyfriend of 4 1/2 yrs and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. I met up with a friend I have known for about 9 yrs or so and we have been having sex for 2 weeks now. So my opinion on fwb is that if you can keep the emotions out of it, it will work for you until either of you starts dationg someone else. This has been going on between the 2 of us for about 8 yrs or so. When we are both single we get together and comfort each other in many ways. It can work both ways, it can be bad or it could be great. In my situation it is great and I am having the time of my life.
A
female
reader, Milli +, writes (11 April 2006):
 I really believe that it depends on the type of person that you are. I expect, however, that in 99% of cases where people try this, it ends in heart-break OR an actual relationship happening. Sometimes it can be a way to avoid relationships, or as a part-time solution for soemthing that has gone wrong. I don't think that it can work as a solution to anything. The solution to most things is to take the time to work it out independently.You'd both need to be INCREDIBLY strong and maybe *cold* (slightly judegemental of me) people to not become attached. Even if you can control your own emotions (which I believe to be almost impossible!), you must rememeber that the other person's emotions are certainly out of your control.
...............................
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (11 April 2006):
 It is a very tricky situation and rarely works. These are some of the reasons why it doesn't:
(1) One person may develop stronger feelings than the other
(2) One person may hope to lead the person into something more than just friends with benefits
(3) Jealously can begin if your friend starts seeing someone else
(4) It can lead to the end of a friendship
(5) It can lead you to concentrate too much on your friend with benefits rather than looking for a real lover and partner and mate.
(6) It can lead you to feeling like a "sex toy" and not appreicated or loved
(7) It can make you feel lonely because you have the physical intimacey but not the emotional
These are some of the issues and generally it is advisable not to go down that path but you need to make your own decisions but please take these points into consideration and assess your own motivations for entering into this type of relationship - is it because you want more from him and hope its a good way to start a relationship? Is it because you are lonely?
Find out the reason why you want it and look at the possibilities and decide if its worth it or not.
...............................
|
