| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: DOES HE REALLY LIKE ME...OR AM I FOOLING MYSELF?I need advice on a Man in my life.... I just cannot seem to work him out. Usually I am pretty good at this sort of thing so please if any one can shed some light, I would be truly grateful! My problem is my Personal Trainer.... yes I know you have probably heard it all before, but please read on ... For the whole time I have been training with my Personal Trainer he has been flirting with me. Previous to date I have just wrote it off as I from what I have heard this is quite common. The more I have ignored him, the more persistent he has become. Below is a couple of examples of his flirting technique; He asked me..."Do you believe in love at first sight"?On one occasion when he was going on holiday for 2 weeks and prior to his departure he said..." I will be away...but my heart will be here"He talks to me all the time about his family, his life, and has mentioned he cannot stand too close to me for fear of getting into trouble.He told me he enjoys my sense of humour, and our conversations.He asked me out one night.We had an enjoyable night and purely plutonic. Now...I really like this Guy but have been too afraid to show it as I don't want to be seen as just another little girl chasing the trainer around like a lost puppy dog. I am afraid these are tactics of his and perhaps he uses them on all the girls. But I am a single woman, and not being the promiscuous kind have not had sexual relations with a man for a while. I am only human and there is only so much flirting one can take before one starts to go a little "loopy" . last week, he said to me..."well your definitely not easy, but perhaps nothing dinner and a drink would not fix". I ignored his comments, but that was the final straw. I decided I cannot concentrate on my training while he is around and I decide I just had to find out once and for all if this man is of pure intentions (does he really like me) or, if as I suspected, it is the thrill of the chase and he just wishes to "bed me". So i embarked upon a plan to "put him to the test". I found the perfect T-Shirt, on it in big bold letters it said "BUY THIS GIRL A DRINK"..Now this is way out of my comfort zone and I had to talk myself into having the courage to wear it but I did.I walked around the Gym wearing my T-Shirt, knowing that no one but only him would understand the "Joke"It worked, .he got the message and gave me a knowing "wink" and "smile". But just as I was leaving, I was saying goodbye to a staff member, when my trainer came past and said to the staff member right in front of me "Look at the influence I have...take a photo" Now is this guy being disrespectful or was he just a little "excited" by the abruptness of the T-Shirt? I just can't work it out. I will be seeing him again on Thursday, and am a little embarrassed but I will not show it to him. I will hold my head high. I do like this guy a lot and I don't know if I should drop my guard and let him in, or, should I write him off as just another jerk! I look forward to your advice.
View related questions:
flirt, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): Thanks to all whom took time to give me your advice. It is much appreciated.
Just a quick update.
I went in guns blazing thinking I am going to teach this A*@le a lesson.
I said "I know your kind. I have heard every cheesy line you guys have to offer and I am onto you"!
"This will be our last training session as I will not be disrespected by anyone like that..especially not a guy I am paying $70 ph".
"Why..he said"
"Because I heard you say look at my influence..take a photo"
"Well what makes you think I was saying it about you" he said
"cause you were looking at me when you said it"
"Well you got it terribly wrong, I was actually referring to the staff member, I have been training him and it was the first time I have ever seen him actually working. I am extremely dissapointed you would think that about me..I actually do reallly like you a lot and thoes cheesy lines are actually real"
" I am not the best at self expression, just for future reference, yes I am a personal trainer, but I am most definatley not one of thoes Kinds you refer to. I have never and would never disrespect you as I think too highly of you".
EEK!..boy did I feel like loser!
We had a laugh about it. I am still a little wary but I think this is a good way to be.
I'll just take it slow and see what happens, but a lesson learn't.
Damn drama queen!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): i have a similar problem with my trainer but his not that direct and he doesn ot make it that obvious, i think that your trainer is just a player and really i think you should just aviod this guy because it sorta sounds like his just after sex.
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
 His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
His comment to the staff member is a clear sign of previous "kissing & telling." Apparently your trainer is known to people there at the gym that he has a history of duping woman into sex. And what's worst is he's so big-headed on himself that he made the comment in front of you, kinda like showing off in front of the staff member.
At least there's an upside to your situation, you can always get a new trainer.
No, but seriously, this guy's actions speak for themselves. He is not into you, just what you can give him sexually. And be careful, sounds like he knows all the things we women like to hear, but he's just repeating from a well-rehearsed script he's written to serve his sexual needs without care to the women he's used. You're pretty smart! You caught on to his motives, now it's time to do something about it...write him off as just another jerk. You deserve much more. Take care!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): My thoughts on this are: A guy who likes to flirt usually likes lots of girls and he does have an endless supply of women available to him, on a daily basis. Flirting is fun, and it seems he has it mastered. That special feeling you are feeling, isn't romance... it's flattery. Careful observation is the key and paying attention to his patterns. My advice is have fun, laugh, joke around, but don't lose your heart over this. However, a smart girl keeps her emotions in check. Flirt back, and bask in the attention. Just be aware of his ways so you won't get hurt when he shows another girl the same sweet moves. Keep in mind...you want to think about what you want in a loving, committed relationship and always hold out for it. Just because he is fun, flirting and being nice, doesn’t mean he has anything but a sexual interest in you. If you're not looking to be a 'one night stand' (no committment, no connection) with this guy-you will take time to see what makes him tick. This is the time, where your character, your self-value, your confidence all come into focus and become major players in your life and how you proceed with this guy. Just make sure the guys you pick have the same high core values and good character traits, you possess. Hold out for the best and be smart. Good luck and have fun..just be careful.
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): Honestly this guy sounds like he's just after sex. He clearly likes the thrill of the chase and as you are respectably putting up a fight he is trying harder. By wearing the T-Shirt you showed there could be a chance for him, at which point he became just another jerk.Seriously, he doesnt seem like a good guy.I bet you can do better!
...............................
|
