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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: We went ring shopping last week, so probably he's proposing to me soon - but mn, it's as strange feeling expecting a proposal when it's supposed to be um, a surprise. I don't really care about the ring, but I really dreamed of a surprise! Even so he knows my answer, because I am waiting for it for over two years...What do you think about proposal? Should it be a surprise? Was it one for you? How do you react if you know what is going on? What do you do to keep the romantic and the magic about it, when it is all so planned and predictable? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Too Sensitive  +, writes (16 December 2008):
Depends on the circumstances. One of my best friends and her bf, together for 3 years, had already discussed marriage. They went ring shopping together, and picked it out together. So there was never an official "proposal" or "surprise". She wears the ring, it is her "engagement" ring, but she calls it her "I Love You" ring. They are both in their fifties and both been married before, so the 2nd time around can lose some of the novelty.
My fiance and I have both been married before. He is about to turn 51, I am 47. He did pick out my ring on his own, it was the right size, and I do love it! It is my taste, it is something I would have picked out myself. And I sensed he had a ring for me, I sensed he was going to propose, but b/c he did it in the middle of the day in a very creative and original way, he completely caught me off guard. When it happened, it was the last thing on my mind. Though I had told my friends that if he proposed I was going to say no (b/c I still was just not sure), I was so taken aback by the way he did it and the timing that I said yes!
A man if he goes about it the right way can manage to get the right ring for a woman. He can quiz her on her jewelry preferences (mine did many months prior), he can find out by involving one of her friends...there are ways, though most men don't take the initiative to go about it in this way.
Hopefully your bf will propose and catch you off guard in the process like mine did, so that it does end up being a surprise, and it is magical and romantic...as I think it should be. Even if it is the 2nd time around.
Mine was a true movie/Kodak moment, but I don't want to brag about it. If you really want, I can tell the story sometime.
Anyway, when you know it's coming, you are looking for clues and trying to figure out how and when. If a man is smart (like mine was - he knows how hard it is to surprise me, b/c I have a sixth sense and even visions sometimes of things before they actually happen), he will do it in a way you are least expecting.
I hope your man ends up catching you off guard!
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 Perhaps in reality it often isn't a surprise. After all perhaps one or both of you need to sound out the other persons intentions and aims, to be sure you are both after the same thing, i.e. the relationship is heading in the right direction.
I remember we were in a crowded bar and he started asking me if I thought I would marry him etc etc. He did ask there and then. I said something like "I will say yes in principle, but I am not having a marriage proposal in a crowded bar on a Friday night so for now I'm saying no" ha-ha. From then on we knew our relationship was serious and that at some point soon we would be engaged.
So you could say I knew what was going on ha-ha!
We went ring shopping together. After all real life isn't the movies where a random ring would automatically suit and fit.
Then he arranged a nice meal out and from there we were were officially engaged.
On the weeks running up to that I considered ourselves as "thinking about getting engaged" and some people thought we already were, and that I didn't have a ring. But I counted it from the actual ring and meal out.
Fiona
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