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anonymous
writes: How can you get a friend of your boyfriend you don't like much out of the picture? How can you get him to stop being the third wheel? I don't care if he ends up thinking i am a bitch, i just want him to go bye bye Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes i have take about this issue to my boyfriend. He promises that the friend won't take over his time but i know the friends style. And his real best friend is here already and next door neighbours. The other friend is bad news that was supposed to move to another city but no he has to move here. I dont want him here as he has cause many problems. I need help
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is the best person to me when i am just with him. He is the best when he comes home from school to see me, about 5 hour drive. He lied to me for 4 months to be social with this bad influence. I forgave him for it but its hard to forget. I feel like i didn't have my guards up and shit happened. Now i refuse to let them down. My heart broke when trust was broken because of the lying. My boyfriend knows this and tells me that and promises it won't happen again. He also knows i don't like the friend much and was quite happy when the friend was supposed to move somewheres else. Then suddenly I was told that he was moving her and i don't know what to do. i don't trust this friend and i know he is a bad influence on my boyfriend. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. For more than a year no problems happened and no fighting. Since issues like this that always seem to invole the friend we have fought a lot more. It has almost got to the point of a break because of miss communication between us but we both don't want that. WE have this agreement that it won't ever get to that point but yet we keep on fighting. We want a future and this guy who just causes problems is moving here and causing problems. I am tired of this. I want him out, I was here before him and i will be after. I don't care if this friend hates me afterwards i just want him out. I need help.
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reader, Yos  +, writes (25 April 2006):
 You have to ask yourself if you are being fair in wanting this. If this person is a good friend of your boyfriend then maybe you just have to accept him being around.
However, if the two of you really don't get on, then I suggest you talk to your boyfriend about it. Make it clear that you don't like hanging out with this 'third wheel'. Tell him that you're happy for the two of you to hang out together but if he wants to see his friend then you'll make other plans for those times. Make sure you are specific about why you don't get on with his friend, your boyfriend really needs to understand your motivation if he's going to accept this. It may even be that he doesn't like the person either, but doesn't know how to deal with 'getting rid of them'.
I'll caution again though! I've seen this situation plenty of times and its usually unhealthy to try to break up friendships. Ask yourself honestly why you have a problem with his friend. Do you feel he's competing for your boyfriends attention? Does that make you feel insecure about the relationship? Is it really an issue with the friend, or is it an issue with you?
Part of a healthy relationship is to accept that your partner has their own life and friends, and you have to give him the space to have that. Trying to control someone or limit what they can do is a fast track to a nasty break up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2006): That's rather selfish. If he is around you alot perhaps it is because he considers your boyfriend his best friend. Have you discussed this issue with your boyfriend? If not, then I wouldnt expect the problem to magically disappear
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