A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do you do when your boyfriend parents dont accept you? My boyfriend got this girl pregnant who he wasnt phisically attracted to, about 2 years ago. He says that he was too drunk and messed up on drugs when he got with her. That he didnt know what he was doin or couldnt remember the night after what he had done! That girl is from out of town and she calls him to let him know that she pregnant by him...ok well, when he found out bout her being pregnant, he sticked with her for the sake of the baby, but he couldnt deal with someone with whom he wasnt attracted to so he ended up leaving her only a month after the baby was born. His parents made him feel guilty for not staying with her, and they said that that was too cold to leave her, so thats another reason why he sticked with her after he found out she was pregnant. The baby was only 2 months old when me and him started dating and he would still see his child, but his ex or i should say, his babys mamma said "if you dont want to be with me and you want to be with her (me) you cant see our son!" so she basically gave an oltimatum...his son is now 5months old and he hasent seen him because he'd rather be with me. he said that no matter how much he loves and misses his son that he's not going to let his baby's mamma rule his life or tell him who he should see (me). that he wasn't happy with her to begin with, that he made a mistake and that im the one he's happy with! well his parents know why she doesnt let them see his son and now they hate me for it! they think its my fault!!! also because i got divorced 6 months ago from my exhusband (with whom i only stictly talk to bout my children) and because i have 2 kids of my own. my boyfriends babys mamma hates me and she's even gone as far as callin my boyfriend parents and told them that i was a drug addict and a whore! wich is sooo not true! im not trying to be conceited but this girl is very unattractive, and im 100 times better, and better lookin than her!!! everyone has told her that which is why i think she hates soo much. i've never confronted her because im not the kind of girl to create drama! that girl has some serious issues! What would you do in my situation??? Im stressin because he's stressin and because i know his parents dont like me...its like a chain...his parents get on him and i have to see him hurt. Any advice???
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divorce, drugs, drunk, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007): Well hun,u should try nd make piece wiv his parents as they obviously have a problem wiv u!
JUst sit them down wiv ur boyfriend nd just have a mature chat nd tell them u want 2 b friends!
Hope this helps hun!x
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (18 April 2007):
 Sounds like way too many people making way too many babies way too soon and now starting to regret it. A lot. I hope that all of you have learned that you should be responsible and use protection when you have sex because you certainly don't need any more kids coming along to foul up an already unbelievably complicated situation.
First, your boyfriend should take legal as well as informal responsible for his child. He should be listed legally as the child's father (if he isn't already) and should be responsible, legally, for helping to support the baby. With that comes (usually) a legally enforceable right to reasonable visitation. If necessary, see a lawyer and get this straightened out. Don't settle for "she won't let him because she wants..." These things should be settled on public record and in a lawful manner, not just in a yelling contest. Whether she's attractive or not is irrelevant ... she's the mother of his child, and like it or not she is going to touch his life for a very long time, so you had better learn to live with that.
Once that is settled legally, she will not be able to prevent him from seeing his child, and whether she calls you names or not will be irrelevant. If you love him and he loves you, why should you care what she says? And if you are no longer standing in the way of him seeing his child, it sounds like his parents' objections to you should vanish too.
It's just a matter of doing the right thing in the right way ... something that all of you should have been thinking of doing from the start.
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