A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:what do you do when you really like someone but you cant tell them. please dont say just forget because i cant.this guy started my job a few months ago and ever since day one ive had a major crush on him. i like everything about him. the weird thing is hes also said hes never worked with anyone and got on with them like me. he calls a lot and we spend all breaks together. everytime i see him i just want to grab him and hug him. we had a coffee before christmas and i texted him to say thanks and he texted me back ' 4 U ANYTIME'Hes going through a divorce at the moment but is semi dating a girl although he insists shes not his girlfriend-what is she then ? we talk loads and i feel very close to him. sometimes i feel he likes me other times not. ive helped him loads since he started but should i just leave it and be happy for him.even if he did like me we could never be together because im in a debt programme for the next 4 years and would be mortified if he ever knew-it would probably put him off anywayi fdont know what to do please can i have some good constructive advice pleeeeeeease x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): wait a minute...you like him right??? he getting divorced. so what if you have debts. if you like him and he likes you, ask him if he'd like to go out for coffee or something. if you like him go for it, see how it works out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Hi, yea I hear you. I took a plunge and told this guy I liked him too. Thing is we were very very close and intimate he told me things beyond friendship and we seemed perfect for each other. I decided to tell him I was starting to feel for him on more then a friend level. After I opened my mouth he ran scared he has never had a serious relationship, whereas I am the one going through the divorce. He would freak out and stay away for awhile then we would kiss and make up and get close and BAM gone again this went on for 6 months, its very hurtful especially when you have feelings for someone.My point is this. If you truly think you have feelings for him avoid letting them out too soon, istead try to find out his stand point on things. Find out if he is ready for relationships or not. Find out what kind of relationships he is seeking, like mutual friendships, or possibly intamte ones.I think if you go about it the right way and not too strongly he might tell you. If he does tell you then maybe its a sign he trusts you and likes you to a certain degree. Just take it slow because I think us newly divorced or soon to be divorced people look for comfort in the opposite sex and someone is bound to be hurt.The matter with the other girl friend or friend who is a girl, is she might just be that comfort I was talking about. He may not see it as a girlfriend whereas she might. I was in that situation not too long ago where I was the one seeing it as something more, and he was just in it for his own pleasure but also lead me on to believing it to be more. Thats where I am saying just take the time to find out who he truly is and what he truly wants and respect that and maybe along the way you might find yourself in a romantic relationship..... Good luck to you
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A
male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (31 December 2009):
Right now, he needs a friend!
He's going through a divorce! This is not an easy time for anyone, and if you feel that strongly for him, then it should be easy for you to just be a close friend for now, knowing that in the fullness of time, when his life calms down, and you get your financial house in order, there very well could be something between the two of you.
However, in the meantime, I would shrug off the whole debt program thing. He likely wouldn't care, and the shame you may feel over it is by far and away greater than any hesitation it might cause him. We all end up in rough spots from time to time.
This other girl - she's either another friend like you, someone he is getting a little close to, sort of re-teaching himself the ettiquette and logistics of being un married, or she could be a booty call. Without more detail, it's too tough to tell.
Personally, I would honestly advise that you wait until the divorce is over, the invite him to dinner and see if that goes well.
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