| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: What do you do when the love of your life leaves you claiming he no longer loves you?We were together for 2 years and he told me I was the love of his life. he was my first boyfriend and we had everything in common and a lot of stuff, well it was just amazing most of the time. But he had some issues regarding my past. It just deteriorated the relationship and he usually blamed me for all that happened.Well, lately we had been having lots of ups and downs and I just lost it, I started self harming and crying a lot and he didn't care, it just made hima ngrier that I was always "nagging" about how he treated me if I had been the one that hadn't told him about the past and the one who ultimately screwed up. he said I looked for all this so I shouldn't cry and that he hated when I self harmed.Yet even last night we had one of the msot romantic evenings. He talked about marriage and kids and all that.He always told me he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. That he couldn't picture life without me.Well, today he got angry at me, because we were going to hang out but according to him by the time I was available it was too late and that I never made efforts and always screwed up. Then he left me, telling me he realized he doesn't love me.I just called him to ask why. And he said that he cares about me, but suddenly thiking about life without me doesn't seem so terrible. That before he just couldn't think of a future that didn't include me, but now he says it's an option. i told him how devastated I was because I do love him, but he doesn't care.I just wanna die, what do I do? How do I get over this? My whole life my self esteem has been weak so you can just imagine how I'm feeling now. Please, help me, I CAN'T see myself without him, ever, I know I'll never find someone that I love so much, who is so perfect for me. if only he hadn't had problems with my past this would've been the perfect relationship, trust me, but now the damage has been too much to repair and now he fell out of love with me, God, i just want to stop feeling!
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female
reader, Ms.wayne  +, writes (30 November 2008):
Dear, what was it about your past that he had such a problem with if you don't mind me asking? I was in a similar situation like you. I was 21, in a relationship with a man for about a year and a half. I'd never been in love until him, I was SO IN LOVE with this man, but we had so much problems we would break up every month for that whole year n a half because he had issues. We would have romantic eveings as well then the enxt minute he didn't love me and wanted to break up, I mean actually yelling at me saying I DON'T LOVE YOU, I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU. So honey I know how you feel.
I had to jump on this question because I too felt like I wanted to just die, I lost 20 pounds, I didn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I lost my job because I couldn't function al ways leaving early I mean I just wanted to kill myself. I felt NOBODY else out there was better for me, I felt I would never love anyone as much as I loved him. But let me tell you. I am soo glad I never harmed myself. Harming your life over a man is NOT worth it. You are young, just like I was young. You have your whole life ahead of you dear. You will find someone who loves you for you no matter what, regardless of your pass they will work with you through it.
I am now with a wonderful man goin 5 years strong. I know it all seems impossible right now but this will pass. Honestly I think a man that says that thinking about life without you doesn't seem so terrible needs to be kicked to the curb! YOu need a man that says "HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU" you know what I mean? I know how you feel, and I'm positive other women have gone through this same ordeal. Hang in there, I hope this helps good luck! :)
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