A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I wanted to find out what to do as I have been dating a seperated woman for about 1 year and 8 months. She had been seperated for about a year and a half when I met her and she had only been out on 2-3 dates before me. Right away we hit it off and I had asked her after about a month if she wanted to date other people or be exclusive. She said she would want to date exclusive so we have been exclusive for about a year and 8 months. She has two great children ages 13 and 15 and we all get along great. Her ex-husband was a psycho to be hnest with you and about a year ago I had to get a restraining order against him. Although he has not bothered me for over a year now, she is asking for space. She had asked before two different times and I was fine with that although she contacted me a week later both times and we started seeing each other again. She lives about an hour away from me and she does not have much time due to the two kids and having them every other weekend. The biggest problem I guess was she felt like she had no time what so ever by herself. I totally understood that as she is super busy 24-7 besides 2 days every two weeks and then I come into the picture. Sometimes I would only get to see her onec a month or usually twice a month, but it was hard for her because she had no alone time for herself although I am her boyfriend. So she felt like she was not being able to be everything for everyone which I totally understand. The problem us is I really love her a lot and I am 42 by the way and she is 48. I am giving her her space and at the beginning of our relationship for the first year she said she loved me and then it started to fade and she felt pulled in so many directions. She has now told me she wants the space and it has been about 3 weeks and we have only texted a couple of times nothing big or nothing that matters in this blog. She said she think I am the greatest guy and she said I totally remind her of her one boyfriend the one she truly loves 30 years ago...I am super kind, loving and went through a lot with her. I mean putting up with her ex-husband psychotic attacks and listening to her talk about him texting, emailing, driving by her place all of the time and delt with it and helped her get through it. Now it feels like I am being just dumped and I hate it because I truly love this woman like no other woman before and I have never been married. The reason I have not been married is I will not marry someone if it is not what I think will work out forver....I dont take marriage lightly more or less. I am giving her her own space and not contacting her for the most part....I did ask her though as she might move down here in two months if she was looking at houses if she would want to get lunch and she said she had the kids this week and that was it.Anyway not sure if mentally I should wait for her and not really date as I dont have much interest in it as she is incredible never met anyone like her to be honest. In a way I think she wants to date and have her alone time because I wanted more of her time and she did not have it. She said she did not see it going backwards and us just dating and dating others. Honestly not sure what she wants because I know she cares about me and her kids love me ask about me all of the time. My question is what does she need totally I guess time and maybe to date to see if I am the real deal for the long run or is she just wanting to say goodbye in a sweet way?
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female
reader, laura585 +, writes (23 June 2009):
Well no one can really say what her reasons really are except for her. There is only one way to find out, that would be to ask. Women say they want space for a variety of reasons. It could be to call it off in a "sweet way" it could be she is simply overwhelmed in her life right now. Maybe she's afraid its getting too serious and doesnt want to end up heart broken and it's a defense mechanism. There could be someone else taking up her time. It could be work, the kids, her ex's probs, you, your probs... Basically it could be anything, she has all the answers you are looking for. Sadly no one on here can answer your question it'd be mere speculation, nothing more. Hope you get what you want tho :)
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