A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay can some of you out there give me some tips on how to comfort your girlfriend/wife/female friends when they are upset and going through a tough time. It's just it doesn't come naturally to me and I feel really awkward around upset people and women seem so confusing, even more than normal. One minute they're saying their fine the next they aren't and you can tell they aren't. I just don't know what to do. What do women really want from their boyfriends when they are feeling down or really upset? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Women want to know that you care, that you are there to reassure, and that you will not just tell them to get over it, but really listen to her concerns, if she asks for advice it is OK to give it, but first seek to understand,....she needs more of your loving attention, not less, this is very important to understand, you must let her know you are there for her and that you are not going to leave jsut because she isn't very loving to you at that time.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 We want to be held and when we are ready to talk we want you to listen. Don't try to fix things though, just listen. We also like it when you do nice things for us like get us ice cream or do the dishes or make the dinner. Just be there and be thoughtful. Sounds like you are thoughtful if you are asking. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I think it depends on the situation and who/what is making them upset or down. A lot of times, women just want someone to listen to what is going on and not really give any advice. Sometimes women really want to be left alone and other times they want to be comforted. It is good to keep the communication open and know what is bothering her. After you know what's up, then you can assess what kind of response she may be be looking for.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (9 November 2007):
 They just want someone to hold them and not push them into opening up they just want reassurance that everything will be ok and work out
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