A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Hi all. I'm an ugly bloke (I think so anyway) and I have never had a girlfriend before, and I want an honest answer on this question...What do women really think about guys who are not good-looking?Most guys who are not good-looking grow up to be bitter and twisted (like me), and never want to have kids.I mean it is a fact that the better looking you are, the more likely it is for you to have sex at a young age. I don't want any political correctness whatsoever for this question.Hit me with your best shot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Lots of different people are attracted to different partners for different reasons. Looks don't come into play for me. Personality wins out every time. My partner considers himself ugly, I consider him beautiful. He is no model, he's balding short, round and hairy. I was attracted to him for his confidence, his intelligence, his sense of humour, his love of life and yes, how he makes me feel. I cannot see an inch of ugly in him, only someone that I am deeply in love with. Viva la difference!
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female
reader, sexandthecity82  +, writes (29 September 2010):
I am currently interested in this guy and he wouldn't be classed as good looking to most people. He's tall with an average build which i like but he's got ears that stick out and thick glasses but what attracts me to him is the way he makes me feel about myself. He pays attention to the little things and i feel so comfortable with him which i have never felt with any other man and i feel that i can just talk to him and be myself. Some girls might be more shallow and go for looks as their priority but for most girls at the end of the day it's goin to be about how that man makes them feel.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 That's what I said, confidence is the biggest thing, and if you aint got it, fake it until you make it.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 You know Bruce if you do become a multi millionaire your looks will improve 100% and the ladies will come out of the woodwork.
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male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Most females rather go for a good looking guy and put up with his shit for years! they will always pick a good looking guy over a bad looking one. Make no mistake in believing the crap like "looks don't matter"Looks are everything it's not just everything to do with relationships, jobs play a big role with looks. Do not believe these women, doesn't matter how sweet you are she's gonna leave with the good looking asshole.However looks are only initial attraction, after a while everyone looks normal to their lover. It's like having a 9 inch cock, women love the idea but it is only appealing as an average 5,5 inch will do the job just as good.Sure big breast are appealing... so is a big cock... so are good looks... But seriously that is where it ends!You rate your self an 8, but i sense that may be an insecure rating...Now the most important thing that makes a man good looking is confidence, being confident makes you sexy, appealing and striking as a good lover. I know it's all too easy for anyone to come on here and talk crap yada yada yaaa....So i'm gonna say to you, you have nothing to lose in being confident, and a confident man would never say he is bad looking nor good looking. I'm going to assume you've probably already tried being confident. since you are here posting this question i will also assume that's failed you.You must kill your self doubt, because there is no confidence with doubt. Reason why, is because some guys who think they are ugly try to play the sweet kind and nice guy... nothing is wrong with that though. then a girl walks all over them and they retreat with the mental idea that she's a bitch because he was such a nice guy and sweet... this is pathetic.Therefore you cannot have any doubts at all that if you are a confident person or a sweet person. no doubts!Have you ever heard that women are attracted to men who treat them like shit? well guess what... there is truth to that and i will tell you why. In general when atttracting a woman, coming off sweet only makes you look creepy... if you ever go upto a girl and say "hey.. you know what... i really hate your hair" and walk, she will be forever fixed on you! that is serious attraction right there.Purely because you have given her attention but not the type she wanted... she will of course try to make you look like a bad guy... and of course you are... but the point is after that fails... she will try to find out why you hated her hair and why aren't you giving her the attention she wants such as... drooling over her and telling her how pretty she is. At this point you've changed the game from you chasing her to her chasing you.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 September 2010):
You're selling yourself short with this way of thinking. As long as you keep believing that this is 'your fate' and that you're doomed to be miserable, nothing will change and your beliefs will be confirmed, in turn giving you even more reason to be bitter. It's one big destructive cycle.
You can't find a friend in yourself when you hate who you are. Isolating yourself from the world would be the worst thing you could do.
Come on man, live up to your username. Don't give up. Stop the self pity party. Get your act together and stop looking in the mirror if that makes you feel better.
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (28 September 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, 10 being the ugliest and 1 being not so ugly... I would rate about an 8.
I trust this information has been of assistance to you.
I'm not exactly the kind of guy you'd go around bragging to people you were going out with.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 September 2010):
On a scale of 1 to 10...just how ugly are you?
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female
reader, Elainey  +, writes (28 September 2010):
Woman goes for personality and personal hygiene.
You just have to look neat and tidy, talk and behave appropriately to make girls looking at you =)
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 September 2010):
hahaha.. if you get real ugly enough, you actually become very distinctive and outstanding..
Think Mike Tyson the boxer...
Comedian's like Millie Jackson (singer) and Eddie Murphy talk about this..ugly guys make great lovers and great partners because they try harder than the handsome one's who only love themselves.
Confidence my dear, confidence, personality and character tops beauty that will fade, every single time.
Danny Devito, (Taxi, Romancing the Stone, Twins, friend of Schwarzenegger) he's a short, ugly, fat, balding guy, and he plays a lot of rude, ill mannered, bad tempered characters. But he looks cute to me, and he looks cute to a lot of women. But he got himself a short ugly wife, so them pretty girls that fancy him have to behave themselves and leave him alone..
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, if your going for a relationship that's built on more than just surface stuff and will last when you get old or illness destroys your pretty looks and physical abilities.
People like and fancy all types of people, go for character and personality.. Bitterness is a bigger turn off than ugliness in my humble opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Shoot. Seriously, you're making it sound you're Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. What are you finding so ugly? I refuse to believe you're so unattractive there's no hope.
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (28 September 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know that it's not good to be bitter. But it feels natural after a while. It becomes part of your life. Part of your soul.
I was attacked by a magpie today and it triggered off all the bitter feelings about my life.
I don't care whether I'm slim, fat, or whatever...It will not change my face.
There are all types of bitterness and no Psychologist or Psychiatrist has been able to help.
Sometimes, I just want to isolate myself from people forever. At the end of the day, the only friend you've got is yourself. And that's the bottom line.
Maybe I just take things too seriously. Who knows?
If I ever become a multi-millionaire one day, I'll be to rich and powerful to give a damn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Il tell you the truth. Im considered to be very pretty...and I have a boyfriend whom I know for a fact, my family refers to as "ugly face"...i overheard them talking one day. Yes it hurt. But i dont care. It took me a LONG time to accept this guy into my life, because i too was repulsed by his looks...he's not at all good to look at. But beyond that face lies the most amazingly wonderful person that I could have ever found. Looks do matter, but only for a bit...once you love the person for who they "are"...that person automatically becomes the most good looking person in the world for you. Its entirely a relative concept. So my boyfriend might look hideous to others, but he's my prince!! And Iv seen both ends of the spectrum. Iv had the misfortune to date a guy who looked like a Greek god, but was the biggest bas***d on the face of this earth. I was totally in awe of his movie star looks, but when i saw beyond that, I could throw up on his face now. He's as ugly as can be. So as I said, its all relative. Dont be bitter about your looks...they dont really matter. Yes you might get hired for job or get served first in a queue, but how superficial is that??!! Isint that just shallow?? Dont feel bad about it...who decides what is ugly or handsome?? Be confident, it will change the way you feel about everything.
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reader, bruce lee +, writes (28 September 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, it's good to see that someone out there tells the truth. I am a great believer that in the long-run, we would all be better off if people were more brutally honest. You can be upbeat and brutally honest at the same time.
Tell both the good news and the bad news... Whatever the person wants to hear first.
Life is full of both good news and bad news. And the trick is to accept the bad and hope for the good. Does that make any sense?
If it doesn't, don't worry. I'm just offering an opinion.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 September 2010):
I'll be the first to admit that looks definitely have a role in choosing partners. So that's the bad news confirmed.
That said, there's a lot you can work with. Choose your haircut wisely, for an instance. I was once messing around with wigs at my sister's place (she's a hairdresser) and I was baffled what a difference hair makes. So go to a professional and let them help you with that, if you haven't already. Toy around with stubble and stuff like that. Makes or breaks the face. If you have really heavy eyebrows, have the excess plucked.
As for the rest: EVERYONE and I'll say this again EVERYONE can have a good body if they put enough effort in it. Sure, some people are blessed. If you're not, work hard to compensate. You'd be surprised how much a lean body with muscle definition can make.
Then: dress to impress. Go shopping and see what works for you.
After that you should already feel better about yourself. And attitude means a lot. I tend to fall for the humorous type with dimples. He doesn't have to be pretty, as long as he entertains me and isn't lazy. And confidence is a real plus. Try to work on the vibe you're broadcasting. Try to be upbeat. You don't have to be like that guy from the dishwasher commercial, but try to use humor when you feel down. You might actually start smiling.
Will is everything, my friend. It was a concept Bruce Lee understood only too well. Do you think he would have gotten as far as he did if he wasn't driven by this immense willpower?
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male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (28 September 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. But I'm afraid I can't agree with any of you. I think looks do make a difference to people's lives.
It's easier to get a good job if you are good-looking and it's easier to get a girlfriend. But I can't get plastic surgery because I'm scared that if the surgeon did an ordinary job on my face, I would look even worse.
Plastic surgery is a dangerous game.
FluffyPie seems to have put a lot of thought into her answer. So well done.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Well, we girls usually go for personality.
So honestly, your personality is more repulsive than your looks.
If you just sit around thinking "oh, i'm ugly, I'll never get laid. Women don't want me because I can't give them what they want."
Then yes, you won't get a girlfriend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Um...ok, you want an honest answer, here's mine: I have a type I fall for and would you believe that I don't find Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt attractive? One guy I dated a few months back, my friends thought him ugly cause his teeth were crooked, he wasn't tall, etc etc. I thought his teeth were cute! And I was attracted to his confidence-this guy was a total Alpha! But here's a straight answer. Someone unattractive aproaches me, I study them closely for a feature that can enchant me (I luv nice eyes!) people don't control genes or who they're attracted to. It's a primal instinct to find a good mate who can give you strong, good children. Chemistry lets you know how you pair physically. A guy I can't be attracted to in ANY way is out. A man whose at first glance "not cute" but is wicked smart, funny, and in the arts can sweep me off my feet. Thats just me. I could never date Herman Munster but I wouldn't disregard a man like David Casuro (his voice is kinda sexy :p).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Quite naturally women are attracted to handsome men initially. But those good looks will only get the guy so far long term. But if you think you are not attractive there has to be something else about you that attracts the ladies. How about getting yourself physically fit and staying well groomed and dress well (neat not expensive). That will go a long way. Also work on the way you carry yourself, you swagger, your style, etc...the things a woman would notice before even talking to you. Then when you engage in conversation let your fun personality show. You definitely need to come across as confident like you are a good looking man but not cocky and arrogant. You have to be interesting and know that you have a lot to offer a lady. These qualities will keep the interest long term.
Good looks may be the thing that catches a woman's eye initially but it's doubtful it will keep it long term. Women want to be treated well and adored. We want to feel safe and protected and supported. These are things you should show a woman more so than tell her.
BTW...just because a guy is nice looking doesn't mean he gets the ladies (and vice versa). And we all tend to be our own worst critic so you probably look a lot better than you give yourself credit for.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): 'Ugly blokes' need not turn out to be twisted, bitter with no fondness for children. I'm not quite sure what response you are looking for but if you feel ugly, bitter and twisted, you will be ugly, bitter and twisted. Attitude plays a part in this. Time to lighten up, mate!
And as a female I wouldn't mind an 'ugly' male as long as he treats others with kindness, and is good to me. :)
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Ok, let's see: an ugly guy proposed me twice, but I refused mostly because I didn't like him. I found him ugly (fat too). I thought (and I still think) he's repulsive by his physical appearance. Later on, I realized that he's sarcastic and can be quite mean sometimes. But his sense of humor is quite unmatched. Whenever I felt down or simply felt the need to talk, he always pulled his "magic" card outta his pocket, making my day brighter. But I still thought he was ugly.
A few months after, a girl fell in love with him and I got *oops* jealous. She thought he's got beautiful eyes (they were blue). Even if I thought he was ugly, he was charming by his bitter sense of humor and intelligence. I was in love with him, but not in physical way. Still can't explain this anyway.
We have different standards. You can't be liked by every one. You just have to accept that. I'm sure you'll do fine.
Best wishes !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Looks & a good body matter to start with but for me, a guy becomes more attractive when I get to know him properly. A great personality can make an 'ugly' guy sexy, if you're on the same wavelength. In fact I normally think the 'uglier' guys make better partners/husbands cos they're not full of themselves & imo are generally more considerate & caring towards their partners.
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