A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:being a young lady growing up in todays society I feel a little confused as to what a womans role is anymore ?or what do men find attractive in a woman ?I am very aware of womens lib and i do support it, but a little part of me can't help but think we have taken on a little bit to much, in the fact that we not only are expected to be the main person (I'm not saying men don't but it is usually left to the woman) to clean the house, cook, raise the kids and now we are exspected to earn half the house hold wages.i find it confusing because I don't think i could earn enough to earn half the wages to support a family and raise it on top of that. Nor do i particularly like the fact of some of the opinons I have come up against that "your a woman you can or are supposed to do it just as much as me" when to be quite frank there are some things that I cannot physicaly do.which leads me to my main question, what do men like a woman to be like ? do they like them to be "girly" and might need a little bit of support from a man ?or do they want a strong minded woman who is very career minded and dosen't need a man for anything ?my second question is about, "boys nights out" why is it that when a guy has a girlfriend or wants a girlfriends. it is then nessary for him to go out on these nights out instead of seeing her ?If i have a boyfriend it is cose i want to spend time with him and go out with him(I don't mind going out to the clubs with his mates or just him), but the guys seem to want to spend all there time going out drinking all night without you, and not tell you anything about it,why is this ??sorry its a bit long, and thankyou in advance for your help !!!
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female
reader, kandydecadence  +, writes (5 February 2011):
Men want a very smart girl whom is feminine physically.
Men want to be wanted and needed, just like women want to, too.
When a man truly loves you, you will be his main priority in his whole life,everything he will do will be for you.
Men in the US tend to want their stupid "guy time" but thats just things made up by the American media,giving a style of life and rules to fallow,men think it proves something to his friends because its how the movies are,but a real strong man is an alpha and alphas don't care about other males at all, they only care to impress females, and have nothing to prove to other males at all.
Other men are always extremely jealous of men with great gfs whom of which he is happy with,even scientifically in neurology it shows how jealous men get, (men also worry a lot more then women do, as estrogen works as a calmer and testosterone works, eh, well the opposite, Lol)
Most men in the us, and others with such culture, do not express this kind of emotion much but it shows his love is always on his mind in some way,if shes out without him,he worries,because males are protective by nature,mine is always getting worried about me, its very adorable, i LOVE him so much,because we do not like by typical america bs,we hang with each other as much as possible,and both admit we love it,we don't care what anyone else thinks,but we also spend a lot of time with both our friends TOGETHER,some of mine and some of his,either go out or staying in playing video games,i love my life with him,because i finally found a man who truly loves me,i hope you're lucky enough to find one,too.
& to give you a tip, men only love those he respects,in neurology tests it shows women who wear revealing clothing like low cut tops get no respect and the hormone responsible for love is much less then for a modestly dressed woman,because being fully clothed makes her a human,and empowers her,because shes owning her body,whereas exposing her body makes him see her as a giant walking vagina,and its giving her body to everyone she walks passed,therefore she is giving everyone she walks passed pleasure,and she doesn't even know them,they could be rapist she is giving pleasure to,or a woman abuser,a child molester,a murderer,ect..but this is modernized slavery,or "americanized" its brain washing with media, so that women expose their bodies so that all men can have pleasure because its a LAW that there HAS to be women somewhere,somehow available to give pleasure to men,and that is porn and strip clubs..
A
male
reader, CharlyHorse  +, writes (3 August 2009):
To start I would say that "Boys Night Out" is to get away from your wife or girlfriend so she doesn't drive you crazy.
Second we like someone who is educated and based on your grammar you are coming up short in that department.
Women have wanted it all and yes they have taken on too much, but there is no turning back. Marriage is a 50/50 partnership and that doesn't mean that the woman secretly hires a maid so she can stay home and watch TV all day.
To make it today it takes two incomes especially during this recession. Women are also responsible to take care of things in the bedroom to keep her man interested. It is likely that a man in his twenties will want sex at least five days a week.
Women's lib has progressed, but there are still things women don't do.
#1: Most women avoid physical labor jobs and seek higher paying lazy jobs that free them up to gab on the phone
#2: They are possessive and will track their man down unless they trust what he says
#3: They typically blame a man for everything that happens to them biologically
#4: They expect monogamy and them cheat on the man behind his back or seek revenge with a friend
I could go on forever, but I think you understand
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A
female
reader, Lavenderlady1954 +, writes (11 December 2008):
Man that have a truly masculine core prefer women with a truly feminine core. We are attracted to our opposites, to someone who complements ourselves. Always remember to act and behave like a lady by having good manners and speaking good English; dress like a class lady. Do not cuss and become vulgar and do dress flashy or risquely to draw attention to yourself. You will get the wrong kind of attention. Smile a lot and be kind to everyone. Have your own life and don't center your life around his. A man respects you when you are not clingy and needy and can think for yourself and have your activities away from him. Women have a propensity to want to be with their guy all the time. Men are prone to be their woman, but she is never their first priority. Usually their work is their mission in life.
One thing about men is that while women are always searching to have closeness through love, men always want love but seek their freedom and autonomy as well. If you try to prevent them from going on their own activities with their friends, they will resent you and feel suffocated. You have to let men have their freedom and when you sincerely do, you'll find they don't want it anymore, as time goes on.
When a man is young, under 30 years old they have this thing that they want to go out with the boys to prove they are not being controlled by a woman and they are their own man. My husband, when we were in our 40's had a midlife crisis and decided that he didn't know if he loved me anymore and didn't want to have any work responsibilities. He was willing to give me all the rental property and house payments, so he could travel and live off the land and rough it for a year. I told him that since he was out of work, and we could afford it, I felt he should go on that trip to find himself and live off the land without material possessions. I told him I would miss him and it was all right with me if he took off a year, to make him happy. I said, "Darling, when you find the piece of land you want and live in a tent, let me know. I'll buy the house next door to you and I'll let you visit and use the shower for free." Well, he never left and had I said, no - he would have left just to prove he was free and that he could.
So my advice is to let him go out with his friends and you go out with yours the night he goes out. Don't always be ready and waiting to try to move your schedule around his. Plan your own schedule and if happens to fit in with his, great. If it doesn't, don't rearrange our schedule to accommodate his. He will respect you a great deal more, won't feel suffocate and relish the idea that you have your own life.
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A
female
reader, SaintlySal +, writes (27 September 2008):
What do men like in a woman?In my opinion, men behave in an individualistic manner. Sometimes, it is far too easy for us to pigeon hole what we think men may like in a woman. Yet, in my professional opinion, while listening to men expressing themselves about woman a few generic traits may filter thru, but there is a strong personal choice thread.What do men like in a woman? A strong or girly type?Mmmm, without defining the concept of "a strong or girly type", I would be hesitant to put my head on the block with such a choice limiting question. However, it once again boils down to mutual personal choice.TAKE CARE
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): Hi there,
I think you raise some important questions, in fact a few weeks ago there was a few stories running along this theme in the media, in that many women end up taking on too many things in their life.
I can't speak for all men but personally I like women who are sure of themselves and confident yet still "girly". I think many women think femininity is a weakness but women can be strong and feminine at the same time. I think women can be equal and independent, yet still want support from a man. Likewise I think men want support from a women. A relationship should be a partnership based on equality. I think personally I would prefer a women who had more ambition to raise a family than having a career, but that is because I think having a family is more important than having a job. I think I would certainly avoid any women who feel they don't need a man for anything, women who are anti-men are definitely a turn-off.
I think for the boys night out question you are quite generalising as many men would not want to go out for these kind of nights out if they had a girlfriend. I think the kind of guys who prefer to go out with their friends are just guys who don't want the same level of commitment in a relationship just yet. I have plenty of guy friends and enjoy going out with them but I've always preferred to spend time with a girlfriend. Sometimes we'd go out with my friends, or her friends, and sometimes we'd stay in or go out alone, others we'd go out separately. It's about being with someone where you're both happy.
I think like Dr John said, you will find men on both ends of the spectrum and it is through a process of getting to know men and dating them that you can find someone who is right for your needs and visa-versa.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Whatever you do, don't try to be a square peg fitting into a round hole. It just doesn't work.
Just be yourself and a guy that fits your expectations will come along. I have never been one to "go out with the guys" and I have never required my wife to work. She did for part of the first two years we were married but that was her choice because I told her she could just stay home and take care of the kids if thats what she wanted. I'll not say it has been easy being the soul supporter in the family but it has worked out for us.
The guys, you will find, will vary in their expectations as widly as there are guys looking for girls. You just need to find one that fits your needs. They are out there but usually take a little patience to find them. Doc.
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