A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My 2yr old daughter has said to me today wheres daddy after watching all programs that involve a daddy in it, I kinda just brushed it off ?? She's never been in contact with her dad and he doesn't want anything to do with her, my problem is I now feel so guilty I've let her down I'm not with anyone either, Her dad was my ex,we slept together once after we split and that was because he told me he had split with his current gd which he hadn't in fact split with her just wanted his wicked way,I told him from day one I fell pregnent he wanted be to get rid which obvs I didn't thank god he doesn't want to know her because he thinks he will get caught out and loose everything ... But what the he'll do I do now is knew it would happen just not when she's two nearly 3 Plz plz plz any advice am I so bad he doesn't want anything to do with her
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 At 2 years of age she won't even understand a detailed explanation of hows and whys, so don't bother. I would just tell her what, after all, happens to be nothing more than the factual truth: that not all families include a dad. Some are composed by mom, dad and child, some others just by mom and child.
If she asks again when she is a little older, I would tell her more or less what a friend of mine told her 6 y.o. grand-daughter ( who, btw, is one of the happiest kids I have ever met, so I don't think she asked because she MISSED dad, she was just curious ). My friend told her " Life is like a movie plot, there's a main character and a storyline, and other characters too. Some of them will be essential and fundamental and will stay with the movie hero from the beginning to the end - like your mom and your grandma in your life's movie ; others only serve to jumpstart the action or engineer some particular devlopment, and once they served this purpose they are not featured in the movie anymore ".
I find this explanation half cynical -half BRILLIANT, anyway it worked just fine .
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 I wouldn't lie. I would do as Janniepeg suggest. Tell her (if you know) what he does for a living and that he doesn't live with you you. That some times mommies and daddies don't live together.
I wouldn't go into a long explanation. She doesn't need one at 2.
My niece had a girl 4 years ago with a FWB type dude. And she chose to have the baby. He IS nothing to the baby (already had 2 or 3? kids with other girls) - he doesn't pay child support (as he works under the table for family members) and has only seen the girl twice.
The 4 year old knows she has a dad. That he lives elsewhere and that she has a couple of half sisters, that she sees occasionally as the mothers all know each other. What she doesn't know is that her father is an immature twat who can't even afford condoms.... nor does she need to know.
Kids don't NEED details. But they DO need TRUTHS. Just make them short.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (8 March 2015):
 At 2 years old it is hard for a child to understand anything with clarity and so you could tell her how much she is loved and that daddy is off on an adventure. When she is a little older, and able to take it all in, you can revisit the question and give her some real, but not hurtful to her, answers by just telling her that mommy and daddy loved eachother very much but that sometimes it just does not work out like in the movies or on TV. As she gets older and goes to school, there will be other children in her situation and she won't feel alone and being without her father is going to be how she knows life and tht isn't always so bad. I would consider finding the father and making sure he doesn't want to be in her life, if you felt comfortable doing that, or at least keep track of him in case she has bigger questions later on, but I raised my oldest on my own for years and he turned out OK. Hold in there!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 March 2015):
 You tell her briefly what dad is doing as a career and where he lives. As she goes to daycare and learn about families then tell her not all mommies and daddies live together. As long as you are happy that's all it matters. It is better to be with a happy single mother than in a miserable family. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Children are more resilient and forgiving than you think. Are you sure it's impossible to track him down and ask for child support?
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