A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:!6 years ago i was in a relationship and had a baby , the ex decided he didnt want us both so 'disappeared' moved away and denied it was his child. He was 8 years older than me i was 23 so not like we were young and didnt know about things. I never stopped him or his family from having any contact but they have all just ignored us . I have had fantastic support from my family and my child has never missed out on anything. The subject i need advice on is this my ex had a 5 year old when we were together . This makes him my childs brother . I havent said anything to my child about a sibling . This brother lives over 40 miles away and i dont think he has been told by his dad that he has a sibling ( my child ). My child may one day want / need answers about that side of the family but so far has never asked to see them or want any information about them. If the time comes to it how do i explain a brother ? i had no way of being able to contact this childs mother or my ex and his family so they have never met . Do i just never mention him and just give a basic bit of info or do i give him all the info i know ? right now my child has no interest in that side and is very happy with the life we have
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 I have to agree, I understand why you are worrying about this. But just be honest with him. Maybe the less he knows the better but don't lie to him either. He is so young at the moment that he probably doesn't question things. I am sure a time will come when he does. Yes be truthful tell him about his Dad and sibling. Be the bigger person and don't talk down about him but just say to him that he left you and you fell out off contact.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 May 2017):
 I agree, answer questions as they come truthfully and as SIMPLE as possible.
You son might not have an interest now but that might change. Most people want to know where they come from at some point in life. He might also know that this a sore subject for you and thus not bring it up.
My kids grew up knowing they had half-siblings, their OLDEST two half-siblings (my husband's ex-wife's kids) didn't know about our kids till they were "allowed" contact with their dad (long story). Does that upset me? Not at all. As a mom, it's UP to you to consider what's best for your child. Personally, I'd prefer honesty and direct answers.
As for HOW you explain a half-brother - not much TO explain. Other than, you dad has another son with another woman. He is your half-brother. I don't know his mother or your father's side of the family so I can't tell you much - NOW that is a LONG answer if he ASKS for details.
It's OK to let him know you don't KNOW much about his dad.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 May 2017):
 When your child asks the questions give him age appropriate truthful answers.
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