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anonymous
writes: Please help me. I'm not sure about how to handle my situation. My relationship is a mess and I can't talk to my boyfriend as he just tells me I'm being childish. How can I talk to him so he will respect me. What do I say? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hefor129  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 well start out all suductive and say well are u man enought for me bby.hope it helps
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (3 May 2005):
 The best suggestion I can offer you is to stay calm and say what you want to say without raising your voice.If he interrupts you or tries to diminish your feelings by calling you "childish", you need to pause and ask if he'll allow you finish. Again, you have to stay calm and collected. It's hard, but - unless your b/f is violent - it's very likely to work.Some people like to argue by getting the other person rattled. They can do this by name-calling ("How can you say that, you stupid cow?"), which distracts the person and gets them off-track. Or they can do it by belittling the person ("How could you know? You've never been past high school!") which hurts and leads to a different argument.Other people descend into gutter language and hope that be using the foulest language they can muster, that they can scare the other person into backing off.Dismissing you as "childish" is a belittling way for your boyfriend to avoid discussing any real issues.Recognise that it's an old trick that he uses because he's afraid to allow you to have an opinion that might clash with his. If he uses it, then don't rise to the bait. Ignore the comment. Stay focussed.If you don't react to his barbs in the way that he's come to expect you to, it gives you that extra leverage to get his attention, and lets him know that you can't be bullied. It may also show him that you feel that what you have to say is important and worthwhile.Best of all, you'll feel very civilised if you can get your point across without having to shout it.Good luck, dear.
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reader, justin +, writes (3 May 2005):
Any successful relationship requires both parties to respect each other and one of the most important factors in a healthy relationship is your ability to communicate effectively.Men very often find it a little more difficult to communicate their feelings but there is a huge difference between 'not listening' and 'not communicating effectively.'I believe that there are three likely possibilities as to why your b/f does not want to discuss certain things.The first is that the subject you wish to discuss is a painful one for him to approach. This will mean that you will have to be patient; however if the issues are important then they do still need to be confronted.The second is that he does not think there is anything to be gained by such conversation. You must make him understand that 'talking' is important to you. If he cares for you then spending some time talking really isn’t a sacrifice. The third (and I'm sure this is unlikely) is that you have not made it clear that you NEED to discuss certain things. I believe that if you wish to discuss certain issues then you must insist upon it (tactfully of course). A relationship without communication is certainly in trouble.
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