A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel2311
writes: I got a great issue goin on for of all I just had my healthy babyboy born on easter and am very happy about that. To continue I have this ex-boy that I can't let go. Reasons for that is cuz when we did go out I had many friends and lifestyle tellin me not to stay but now I see that I've made a mistake. He tried to save me from myself cuz I was just destoyin myself by doin all the wrong things. We just to fight sooo must that I ended it without realizing that he was really tryin to help but with tuff love. Now I have my babyfather who I only care for but lost interest in due to many troubling issues we've delt with and etc. Now that I see the light on how I was never over my ex and the his ways woo me, I just can't decide. Even if I did choose my ex. He had made it clear how we couldn't be together cuz in his words " he's not the guy that I lookin for" but does must of the things that a boyfriend would do. We hardly see eachother but when we do there's fire there and feelings grow strong. I hang on to every word he saids like my life depends on it and catch myself daydreaming about him in sitations that would have him be with me in a serious level. (For example: seeing him sleep holding my son or shoppin for food together) I kno do feel silly cuz I'm still with my babydaddy and my ex. has nothing to support me and my son. I just can't help it and find myself reminising about us again and had even looked at my own son and seen similar feature of him in my son. (Now as far as that goes my ex has a 1% chance of being the father and he knows this. I say 1% cuz he hadn't slipped in me but brushed his privates onto me and I've hear of babies being born that way.) My ex tells me that he loves me and I say it back. I don't kno what to do. He likes to hear me get jealous and madd and just saids that its pay back for brakin his heart b4. He's told me that I'm exactly now how he wanted me to be back then so why won't he be with me? What do I need to do to get him back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): Ah... that's sweet. Hope everything works out for you hun. Take care.
A
female
reader, angel2311 +, writes (16 May 2008):
angel2311 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for writing me back be'cuz u didn't really have to soo... thankz. As far as staying with the father of my son its a slim chance but lots of change has to happen b4 that can happen. Just becuase I still do care for him and I know he'd be lost without me 'cuz I'm the only person he has makes my decision hardier. The reason why my ex and I didn't work out b4 is 'cuz I was being foolish and listened to my "friend" ( which I'm not anymore ) and tried to made a quick buck strippin to pay for food and rent. Which I think u can understand where my ex was pissed off at me. Then was forced to breakup with him cuz my "friend" saw it getting in the way. At the time he was abit rude about it and swore I was cheating ( which I wasn't ) when I told him the news about us splitting. I've always had a piece for him in my heart even if we had a short time goin out back then. But we have grown much closer now and he reminds me that how I'm being now is the way he wanted me to be when we were together. He knows I want more and gives me lil teasers to hang on to but I see him get into it too. I'd know we would have our problems too but at least I'd feel like being with him would help me grow as a person and that's the happiness that I'm lookin for. Someone smart and keeps me on my feet yet has intense passion to let out. Omg I feel 16 again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Hi Angel, Glad you got in touch. I've felt bad about what I wrote and there was no way to take it back. I had no right to talk to you that way and I'm sorry if my ill considered words have hurt you in any way.
Straight after I wrote this, I suddenly had a flash and knew there was more to the story than the way it sounded. I had a feeling that you were more hurt and angry than I realised and also far more kinder and sensitive than I had given you credit for. I also had a strong feeling that you would have a job and would be a good mother looking for a good partner to help her raise her son. I don't know, I just had this feeling that I was reading you all wrong.
Glad to know that this is the case. So sorry I jumped to conclusions. Anyway back to you, how likely are you to stay with your current partner. How come you broke up with your ex in the begining. Do you think it would work this time round, or do you just feel that you deserve a little happiness in life?
I wish you and your son well, angel.... Blessings and good wishes.
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A
female
reader, angel2311 +, writes (15 May 2008):
angel2311 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I see I have to get in detail 'cuz even tho I'm thankful for my responce I see that I haven't made things clear. So here I go first I do all I can for my son and he was planned so it wasn't like I just got pregnant and decide to have him at the last minute. I've protected myself for years until I was ready which I am. I do work for a living as a network staff for the oxygen channel. so I dont really need another guy for his money I just like dudes tht got something goin for themselves. The father of my son totally changed on me while I was prego and thought that I would put up with his nonsence and insercurities just to find out that I won't. I saw my BD true colors and how he was such a liar when our son was born ,givng me fake hopes and promises. Now I'm just tired of the drama he carries with him and has dragged me into ( for example : drama with his family which has come to all of them putting and order of protection against him and ordering visitation to see my son which I've never had a problem bringin him over) that's just a waste of time and money. All I ever wanted was peace of mind and a happy home and if I have to relay on my ex to talk to just to put a smile on my face ill do so. Now me and my ex are what u can say friendly lovers that comfort eachother. He's a bit of an hardass which I can admit but I can't help how felt for him. He's not a thug , a realist who won't hold his tongue and is a real smart dude. I'm not selfish I just want a good rolemodel for my son cuz his father is not it and someone who can make the right decisions for himself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): This is why children shouldn't become mothers.
You left your first boyfriend because you wanted excitement with your friends. You have lost interest in your current boyfriend, the father of your baby because of the "many troubling issues" you've had together. You now love your ex boyfriend, and want to be with him because you've "seen the light". You dream about him and have convinced yourself that your son is his child. Your only staying with current partner (who you hope is not the child's father) because your ex boyfriend can't support you and the child.
Why won't your ex take you back. Because your a selfish, inconsiderate, untrustworthy child. You broke his heart to be with someone else. You use people like tissues, and seem to care about nothing but yourself. You don't care that your son and his real father (your current partner) may have formed a strong bond, but it dosen't matter as long as you get what you want. I hope your feelings for your son are stronger than your feelings for men, because he may find himself dumped in an orphange, if he stands in the way of your romantic relationships.
You expect a man to provide for you and will only stay with a man if he has enough money. You get bored easily and are not willing to give a geninue commitment to a relationship. You will leave as soon as there is any sign of difficulty.
What have you got to give a man? What do you need to do to get your ex back? I don't know. How about sell your child so you can pay him to be with you. Since it's obvious that your ex is finding it hard to forgive the way you casually hurt him in the past. The ease with which you want to dump your new partner is probably setting off all kinds of warning signals in his brain.
Sorry ... I'm angry, and therefore my words are harsh. Grow up and develop some consideration for other people. You are now a mother, start behaving like one. Do something with your life for your son to be proud.
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