A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I've had a crush on this one guy for about three years now. Everyone(my friends, his friends) all think we should be together, although we barely talk. All it ever is is a few friendly laughs and a comment here or there. He's the only one in my town who has the same political and religious views as I do and people always ask me why we aren't dating. The reason behind that is I have a lot of baggage. When I was younger my father was emotionally, mentally, verbally, and ,on occasion, physically abusive. The abuse lasted for about six years and I really don't know what to do. I have a huge issue trusting men now and the fact I've liked this guy for 3 years is shocking. But my main issue is how do I handle my baggage so it doesn't affect our relationship? The reason I haven't gotten to know him on a personal level is I'm afraid he might not be able to hand my emotions. I really care for him and don't want to burry him in my two tons of baggage. There's also the issue concering the fact that he's from a very wealthy family and has basically never experienced want or need for anything in his life. The way one of my friends put it is "He carries is 10lbs of baggage in a Gucci carryon duffle. You however have about enough baggage in those fake Marshall's knockoffs of yours to bring down an entire airplane." Any help would be really appreicated. I just don't want my emotional issues to affect him in any way.
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (24 April 2011):
First, don't let someone's social status affect how you think of them as a person. Just because he comes from a wealthy family doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't raised with integrity. Its not his fault his family has money and it wouldn't be fair to assume things about his character for it.About your own personal past, I'll tell you now that it will never cease being a part of you. You'll always remember it, therefore, you'll always carry it. But that doesn't mean you can't rise above it and view it as only what it really is; a tragic part of your past. Don't let it define you.Some guys won't be able to handle your baggage, some might be more than happy to handle it; but either way, the best thing to do is to try not to make it a part of your life. Yes, it did happen, but that doesn't make you who you are. That may take a while to actually feel like its true, but once you can say that with confidence you'll be much better off.
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