A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I met my boyfriend online, and had no intention of ever getting together with him. But we talked, and found we had a lot in common... and eventually it got to the point where he told me he was attracted to me; I reciprocated the feelings. However, what I didn't know is that he's 21 and I'm only 13! I never meant for anything like that to happen, and it just did... I've been trying to get the guts to tell him of my big mistake, but things get worse and worse. I asked him one day (inconspicuously, of course) what he waould do if I were... oh, say... 12 or so. He replied that it wasn't possible, and "Besides, I would never date a 12-year-old." From then on I've never gotten the courage to tell him. We're in love, and that doesnt look to change... but I've been keeping such a secret for so long, and it's gotten so out of hand. I know he'd probably hate me if I told him, and I don't want that to ever happen. I love him too much to have him hate me for my mistake... it'd probably just break me. Now, he's getting more sexual and wanting to meet me, and go on camera to talk, and go on the phone, and I don't know what to do. If I tell him he may hate me forever and I'll lose everything good... but if I don't, things will just escalate into something much worse, and I don't want to hurt him... ever. Please, I need others' points of view on this. Please help me decide what to do! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): First of all, if you haven't yet met, then you are not really dating. Secondly, if you haven't even been honest with all of the information about you, then you aren't truly in a true relationship.
You're 13. Hang out with guys your own age and take life slowly to gain the necessary experiences. Your later self will appreciate it more.
A
female
reader, Ellzy  +, writes (27 December 2008):
oh my god..
put it this way, if he 'loved you' he would of wanted to know your age.. insted of knowing dirty little things about you.
I do know how men work.. especially ones like him.. they are no good idiots.. im so sorry for being harsh babe.. but life isnt always about what your wanting to hear!
if he met you.. it would be purely for sex i know it
you're too young to be getting tied down
you cannot be inlove.. you dont even know what love feels like!!
he says hed never go out with a 12 year old
your 13.. and i bet you he would actually!
BABE BE CAREFULL..for goodness sake!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): Did you tell him your real age?Age is just a number,but not when it comes to minors and adults in situations like this.Tell him immediately.It'll make him mad and angry,but he needs to know the truth and after you tell him,I think it's best if you stop communicating with him(but it's your choice).He should've told you his age,but probably didn't
because he's a perv.Tell him.It's the best.msg me if you wanna talk.xxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): if this continues- you can ruin his life
do you want that?
as the other posters said, he can be arrested now for just saying the wrong thing to you, and he has no idea?
it is wrong what you are doing .
if you like or love him as much as you say, then tell him,
if i was dating a guy and found out he was 13 , it would ruin my life, i could imagine having night mares about what it has done to me , my life, my friends.
people are often wrongly accused of things, their life is hell for ages, people judge them over and over- when they are found to be not guilty, no one aplogises- and their life does not get any better ,
so think , if this guy gets caught out , gets in to trouble, in a way he is not being worngly accused as you have led him to belive something else, but his life will be ruined,
do you know what people do to people like him (I MEAN THE ONES THAT DO IT ON PURPOSE)
iv seen them beaten in the street, had their windows put through, thrown out of pubs, getting called all sorts , death threats, fair enough, these people deserve it , but if he really doesnt know , and you have lied and dont so the right thing,he wont deserve it .
I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THE RIGH THING TO DO IS...........
SO *SAVE A LIFE * TELL HIM
even if its just an email that you know he wont get for a day or two, it doesnt matter how you do it , just do it
...............................
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (24 December 2008):
it sounds like the guy is nothing but a kiddie pervert. if he knows you are only 13 and that you are a minor then he is grooming you. you need to stop all communication with this guy. he is only an internet "bf" so you can't seriously think it is going to go anyway. As for the sexual stuff, like i said he is grooming you and what he is doing is pretty illegal.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): Stop attatching yourself so emotionally to this guy, because the more you do, the more it's hurting the both of you as you can't be together because the age difference is so so incorrect. Tell him
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): You must be quite mature to convince him you were old enough for him when he's 8 years older than you! But unless you tell him, he will find out another way, and will probably dislike you more for not being honest and telling him. So get it out of the way and explain it was hard to tell him and that you didn't expect he would fall for it or for it to go so far. I'm sure if he acts his age he will respect you for telling him =]
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): You've put this guy in a very difficult position. He thinks he's talking to an adult not a little child. Tell him your age right away. As you notice things are getting sexual, you are making things worse for him, and you might even have the police pick him up as a paedophile.
Love, nope your not in love. Loving somebody means wanting to do your best, keeping them away from harm, and making sure that you don't hurt them to protect yourself. If you loved this guy, you wouldn't play these stupid games, you wouldn't hide your age. You wouldn't keep secrets that could damage him.
He is an adult your a child, your the person that is lying, not him. You can't be his girlfriend, he doesn't know anything about you, he doesn't even know how old you are. That's not a relationship, it's just two people online talking. Stop playing adult games, your still a child, this man will be disgusted with HIMSELF, when he finds out. The longer you keep it a secret, the more he will hate you. Nobody likes to be made a fool of, nobody likes a liar. Tell him the truth right away.
...............................
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (23 December 2008):
 When I was younger, my older cousins used to excluded me from lots of their talks. I must have been 10 back then and they were like 18-20. I never really understood that until I reached their aged.
There's things in life that needs to happen to you before moving to another step. At your age, dating a 21 year old would be too much of a big step to take.
We sometime want to experience love so badly that we don't see things the way they really are.
Time often brings like to dark areas. Take your time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): You have to tell him the truth! You made a choice to play "grown-up" games, now you must tell him before anything gets out of hand! How old does he think you are? He can go to jail, if he was try to meet you! And if he is a pedifile, you can be in danger!
I know you think it will end your world but it won't! You will forget all about him when you meet someone your own age. Please, tell him the truth and don't contact him anymore.
Does he know where you live? Is he in your area?
You are Not really in love with him. I know you think you are and the feelings are strong. But the fact is you're in love with the idea of being in love. It is so strong and because of your contact with this guy, you have directed these feelings towards him.
We all do it! We want a relationship so bad that we ignore the signs of impossibilities. But in your case, it's the law that prevents you from being together!!!
Please stop this before matters get worse. Think what you're doing to him. Yes, he will be mad when he finds out! That's why you must never meet him, tell him where you live, where you go to school, who your friends are, or anything about your family!
Please keep us posted!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): Sweetie, this could get him into a lot of trouble. You want to leave him alone as soon as you can. If you really do 'love' him, then you will let him go. I understand that crushes are sometimes serious but you're only 13. Find someone you go to school with, someone who lives near you, someone closer to your age.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): This is wrong. Do you realize you could get him into trouble? even more so if he's talking sexual towards you and he dosen't realize your age. You must tell him the truth. I'm sorry honey but any normal 21 year old wouldn't touch a 13year old. The age diffrence is just too much at your age at the moment. He has a right to know how old you are. Move on from this and remember to not lie again.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008): There's no easy way to put it...it's not gunna work out. It's probably the last thing you want to hear but: YOU are a CHILD, he is a MAN. Let's simply forget the fact that sex will be illegal for 5 more years at least, and move onto the fact that he already told you he wouldn't date a twelve year old...It's way too taboo, and he'd get a bad rep for it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Cast your net again.
...............................
A
female
reader, ShanL +, writes (23 December 2008):
 STOP TALKING TO HIM NOW BECAUSE THAT'S NOT VERY GOOD AND YOU'RE ONLY 13 YEARS OLD....YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN RIGHT? ALL HE'LL WANT TO DO IF YOU MEET IS HAVE SEX AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT UP HE'LL TAKE IT BY RAPING YOU. AFTER THAT YOUR PARENTS WILL SAY THAT WAS VERY IRRESPONSIBLE AND WILL BE VERY CAUTIOUS OF WHERE YOU GO WHO YOU TALK TO AND OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT. I AM ASKING YOU TO PLEASE STOP CALLING CHATTING VIDEO MESSAGING AND EVERYTHING!!!!! BE SAFE WHILE ON THE INTERNET AND I KNOW YOU WATCH TELEVISION ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS.....THE LITTLE GIRL GO TO MEET THE GUY WITHOUT LETTING PEOPLE KNOW AND THE NEXT DAY YOU'RE MISSING AND THROWN IN THE RIVER OR SOMETHING. PLESE STOP TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!! SERIOUSLY
...............................
|
