A
male
age
36-40,
*admanx
writes:So around January, I met this girl. I started talking to her and found out. she had a boyfriend. I backed off and texted her on her birthday, which I remembered was April 20th (420). I found out she was single so I started hanging out with her. I started falling for her again and we hung out almost everyday.So after a couple of weeks she reveals to me she has been having health problems. I told her not to worry and I would be there for her if she needed me. I took her to all her doctor appointments because she could not drive due to health complications (double vision, numb feet). She was eventually diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I didn't care, I liked her for who she was and told her I would still be there.So now comes July and we've kissed and made out (no sexual stuff) and all that jazz. She told me she had to go to Montreal for a work trip. I drove her to the airport and waited for her to come back. So she comes back and things are back to normal. She starts indicating how she wants to make things official. Then August comes around and she told me her and her cousins are planning to go to Cuba. They are meeting in Montreal and will all go together. I drove her to the airport and anticipated her coming back. When she finally came back, we had sex for the first time. Things were going really good.. I would sleep over at her place almost everyday. I noticed while she was sleeping this guy would always text her late at like 3 am. I googled the guys name and found out he was from Montreal.. My heart sank.I immediately asked her about it and she said that it was a work friend (which he was - they worked for same company). She said that they were just friends and they never even met. So I believed her..Over time, we made our relationship progress and made everything official. We had talks of marriage, living together, etc. Two weeks ago, I was looking for something on her computer in which I sent her.. I found a screenshot saved "My Baby" with her and another guy, that was in My Received Files. I wanted to die..She was going away for Christmas so I didn't want to ruin her trip and waited for her to come back. So yesterday she comes back and I ask her about it. She tells me that the screenshot was taken before she started talking to me (it was in March, I started talking to her again in April), and that this guy was crazy over her. I inquire about the Cuba trip. She said that she went with a bunch of work people and he was there aswell. She said that she kissed him once.. I fell in tears and told her I couldn't do this anymore..So today, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to email the guy as his email address was public. He gave me his number and we talked for a couple of hours. Turns out they had a long distance relationship for over a year. Turns out when she went to Montreal for her first trip, it was for them to be together. It also turns out Cuba was a vacation with her and him. The guy was also very hurt as well as he wanted to marry her. Meanwhile, she starts raping both our phones with calls and text messagestI don't know what to do anymore. I'm in so much pain.. I gave everything for this girl. She's been parked outside my house and constantly texting me. I'm so hurt that she was two timing me this whole time and I had no idea.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 oh ouch I'm so sorry. She played YOU and HIM... that sucks.
UGH I hate this. it gives LDRs such a bad name for so many reasons.
I would block her phone, her email and any social media.
you say she's parked outside your house.... if she won't move call the cops on her.
You will best heal with NO CONTACT and she's not going to let that happen if she can help it so up your game and get rid of the lying cheating woman.
I'm so sorry for your pain.
A
male
reader, Sadmanx +, writes (31 December 2012):
Sadmanx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. It still hurts and she won't stop bugging me and I can't stop thinking about her.
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (31 December 2012):
Unfortunately, based on what you wrote, it sounds like you were being played.
It hurts, terribly, but the best thing for you to do probably is to walk away.
If she keeps texting you, tell her that you need her to stop, and that you can't be with someone who would not only date two people at the same time but would lie about it. All relationships depend on honesty.
You've caught her in some serious lies. You cannot maintain a relationship with that dishonesty. If you try, you'll always, always be wondering if she's lying to you, and you'll never be truly happy or even comfortable with her.
Until she's able to be honest about her feelings, and stop being selfish, she'll never truly be happy in ANY relationship.
I'm sorry, man, but you will need to move on from her. Cut off contact with her and do anything you can to get on with your life.
Best of luck.
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