A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy almost 12 mths ago, we were in love an every was great.Now I'm currently 8 months pregnant an recently he started talking a lot less, saying he needs space and that i message him too much.Then he then dumped me on Christmas Eve an said to me i pushed him too far, as i wouldnt give him space an kept messageing him. We also live in diffrent countrys and he is in the military.I suffer with ptsd. What can i do? as love this guy so much. Will he eventually come round, he is also due to deploy in january. Any advice would be great, please be serious.
View related questions:
christmas, military, needs space Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your kind words an advice
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012):
Then dry your tears and forge forward.. He be the loser .. Your to good for him sweetie.. Chin up..
Write him a letter, keep it non subjective as in don't let your heart rule your head.. I can feel your love for him.. But you have to be strong for the baby.. And you .. Get support, do you have family and friends, you can talk too?
Just a thought, I'm sure the military will have a Chaplin who you may be able to confide in too.. He may also be feeling pressure too, not an excuse but who knows and if you talk privately with the Chaplin they may also talk with him just to liaise between you both find a happy medium if they don't then write the letter.. Be clear and concise, talk about the delivery, what you would like to happen, him be there if that's your wish, then what the future will be, contact, financial support etc, the baby grandparents on his side etc, but do not ask him to come back.. If he does suggest that, then let it be his idea..
P.s. you didn't do anything wrong.. Your weren't clingy, he just needed an excuse..
There are no words that will make you feel better and though I say don't cry over him, I know you will.. Just take one day at a time, focus on you and your baby..
Take care sending a hug. . Lou x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYa it's his baby.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Is this his baby? I'm sorry honey wish I could give you a cuddle but your too far away.. So I'm gonna give you adviceFirst off tell your mum and dad or sisters or bro what's going on, get support from friends too, cry scream and get it out your system..What he did was stinkie, and on Christmas Eve too how typical and macho of him.. Look if you two made this baby then you had every right to be texting him and looking and waiting support..From your age I would gather he's not a teenager and would realise that having sexual relationship with someone without protection or proper protection can result in a pregnancy.. So he needs to stop acting like a boy and become a man.. I would write him a letter and say fine, if he doesn't want to be with you so be it.. But he has to take responsibility for this life he helped create, if he doesn't want involved in the baby that again is his right, however I would suspect that the military do not teach this kinda of behaviour either but he will need to provide financial .I would include a bill for half of the items that you have purchased for the baby.. I would also say that I would expect a monthly payment of around say $200 a month to cover nappies formula clothes and $10 a wk saving for the baby.. If he refuses, go straight to a solicitors and letter his commander about his lack of character and his abandonment of his child.. This is no time for tears or soppy thoughts.Your texting didn't drive him away.. You are not clingy.. He wanted an excuse and used the texting as that..He does not care a poo about you or the baby and his duck of attitude I don't want to be responsible will not do.. Leave him to it sweetie, he is not worth your tears or love.. Take care.. Love the baby.. And good riddance to bad rubbish ..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): Sorry I don't think you can do anything to get him back. He gave you fair warning that he needed more space but you kept on being clingy so finally he was forced to break up with you to create the space he needs. You need to move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMent to say he suffers with ptsd,
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2012):
 I doubt he is going to change his mind.
I'm sorry.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (31 December 2012):
 If he's cut off contact, then it's really over. You need to move on and focus on the arrival of your baby instead.
...............................
|
