A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up about a 1 1/2 months ago. Word got around around about two weeks ago that he liked another girl but also said he didnt want to date anyone for a while. Around a couple nights ago he had contacted me saying how he had been thinking of me..Yet all he seems to talk about is how he still has sexual fantasies and yet I feel pathetic because all I seem to care about is the fact that he's actually talking to me again...I also kind of brought up the girl he liked. He said he didnt really like her enough to date her and always thought I was pretty and hot. He says he doesn't want to date anyone, but several times he has asked about me and other guys..or asked if I like anyone. Does he have feelings for me? SHould I cut him off? Or help me understand what to do.I still want to talk to him..but not if he just wants it to be to for sexual situations. Should I just give up hope all together? This was my first heart break so its hard.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (31 December 2012):
Did you break up with him, he with you, or was it one of those mutually agreed breakups?
It sounds like he still has feelings for you. If you were the one to dump him, then he's obviously trying to get back together with you, and you'll need to think about if that's what you want.
If he dumped you, he may be having second thoughts. You should tell him you want to have a serious conversation about your relationship if that's the case and you still want to try again. Tell him that you both need to be 100% completely honest about how you each feel, because at this point "trying to make each other feel better" isn't going to fix anything.
If you have this conversation, go into it with an open mind. Especially if he dumped you, don't give in too easily. You broke up for some reason, and that reason has to be addressed before you can consider trying again.
It seems you still have feelings for him, and from what you're saying he's saying, he does for you as well. You just need to have a talk together and decide what the state of your relationship is, if you want to try to fix it, and if so, how you're going to do it.
Then, make sure BOTH of you STICK to what you say. Getting back together with someone is a magical experience, and for a while it'll feel just like you did when you started dating... but if you're not careful and BOTH of you aren't continuing to WORK on this relationship, eventually you'll slide back to where you were before and you'll be broken up again, and I'm sure you don't want that!
Best of luck!!
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