A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do I do in between therapy sessions? I know life goes in per usual but I feel so lost. During therapy, everything seems to make sense, we are getting closer to solving the puzzle. I am still in process of telling my therapist my life story and she is trying to find out what triggered my recent problems. It's been an eye opening learning experience so far and I look forward to going back. I can't wait to be a better person. But I only see her once a week and I wish it could go by faster. What's the best thing to do in between therapy? I feel like I have to do something or I'm in a rush even though I know this stuff takes time. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2019): Therapy has to be applicable to your daily functions and routines. It's not just sitting in session and talking to your therapist.
You should be taking mental-notes of questions asked by your therapist. Introspect on your past conversations with your therapist; and jot down things that come to mind where you see some progress occurring. You help yourself through self-reassurance, and you build confidence when you are aware of your own success. You have to be your own cheerleader!
Do not be harshly critical of yourself. Never put yourself down; because of a mistake, or if you forget to do something. Consistently remind yourself that you are a good person; and sometimes trauma from the past, or something that hurt you robs you of your joy and comfort. It happens to everyone!
Never refer to yourself in negative terms; because when you do, you will reverse all the good progress you've made. It's not just what other people say that hurts us, it's what we say negatively about ourselves as well!
You may have been given homework assignments. If so, you should be reviewing those past consultations, and practicing. Homework isn't a one-time-only deal; it is to be done again and again until it becomes second-nature. If it was too hard at the beginning, it becomes easier with practice.
Always try to remember if there were any minor breakthroughs or discoveries you may have made since you last covered a particular issue. Sometimes you may overlook something figuring it to be insignificant; all the while it was quite a big step for you. You have to feel you're getting somewhere, or you'll simply use your sessions to chat with your therapist. You have to work and commit yourself. Not just talk and bend his or her ear.
What goes on between therapy sessions? Life!
Being a better person isn't something a therapist programs you to be; it's what each of us is responsible to be of our own volition. We strive to be kind and considerate of others. Avoid selfishness. Cut-down on the use of sarcasm, avoid swearing, and mind your manners as you interact with others. Learn to trust those who attempt to be good to you; who have proven time and time again you can count on them. Trust is a good reward. Try to earn some as well!
Learn to listen to others and not be self-centered about your own problems. We suffer the same problems among us as humanity. Some of us aren't as good at recovery or letting-go of pain or the past as others. We tend to see the world from only one perspective...our own! Know that others share pain, grief, loss, and suffering too. It's life and maturity. It may not show on some folks; because sometimes people hide it. Nobody's perfect, and no-one is happy all the time! To err is human, and correcting your mistakes is being of good-character and showing strength. You don't get that from therapists! You're taught that by your parents, mentors, role-models, coaches, teachers, good neighbors, and all the positive-influences you encounter throughout your lifetime. Adopt what you know is good as part of you!
Do something nice for a lonely family-member. Write someone a lovely letter to let them know you're thinking of them. Go out and have some fun. Just a day of placing your problems behind you and doing something you like. Go to the zoo and look at the animals. If you have a botanical gardens or park in your area, take your camera phone and take lovely pictures. Try to enjoy life outside the therapist's office, and away from social media.
Your life is not centered around your pain and problems. You have to live and breathe! Believe there is more to you than what hurts or upsets you.
You're still young and alive!
You are young and free, and you should also be grateful for all your blessings. No-one on this planet lives a daily hell; good things happen to everyone sooner or later! When they do, we should cherish those moments! Capture them in our memories to crowd-out painful thoughts.
If you were brought-up with a faith and spiritual-belief; and you've neglected your faith for a long time, go revisit it. Try rekindling your faith, and just being around nice people who gather in fellowship. Talk to your pastor, imam, priest, or rabbi; and discuss things that are uplifting and food for the spirit. Avoid people who are judgemental, pushy, or self-righteous. God is not to blame for people like that. If you are a nonbeliever, skip this suggestion.
If there are people in your life who make you feel down, or pressure you; avoid anyone who doesn't know how to show you kindness, and set the best example of what a good person should be.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2019):
Keep a journal. When things pop in your head write them down.
Part of therapy is SELF-DISCOVERY, it's not just the therapists job to suss your issues out. It is also yours.
If your therapist gives you "homework" or suggest different tools, try them out and note how it worked for you, etc.
You say you can't wait to be a better person, so why wait?
Do something positive every day.
There isn't an "insta-fix" you are going to HAVE to take the times it takes and be OK with that.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (8 June 2019):
 Well done for going to therapy! Almost everyone could benefit from a good therapist at some point in their lives, even therapists themselves :)
Find a new hobby that is free or affordable. Try new things that will help you build up what you like and dislike.
Ask your therapist if she has any "homework" for you to do that would help you better yourself mentally.
See family/friends.
Go on free/affordable days out.
See if there are any affordable classes you'd like to take, even one-off cooking/knitting/art/etc. classes that are a good way to meet people and try new things.
Find one or more YouTube/Netflix/Amazon series/films to watch.
Join an affordable gym or exercise class/group.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2019): You do anything you can that wont hurt yourself or anyone else.Mindless occupations are perfectly good: computer games, knitting long plain scarves, woodwork etc.Anything that occupies your time in a repetitive fashion that will free up emotional space so that you can continue your journey.Write a journal, paint a wall or window frame, go for a run, go swimming, cycle round your local park, volunteer at your local farm or vinery.Once a week is considered quite intensive.Try asking your therapist if they have any therapeutic links anywhere.Doing stuff with your hands soon teaches the mind to pass time constructively (hopefully.)You asked a good question.Later your therapist will wean you off onto once a month.Why not keep a journal of each day so that you can look back on your progression.
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