A
female
age
30-35,
*isscalliero
writes:I don't know what to do. I started seeing this guy in July and by August we were a couple. He lived an hour and a half so we didn't see each other every day, but we constantly communicated. We told each other things that we'd never told anyone else, we talked about all the serious subjects and of course he would always tell me about his future plans for us. When he told me what he got me for my birthday, he told me not to expect anything big like that for my birthday next year.I'm never going to get my present, because we broke up before my birthday and it was completely out of the blue. School started (we go to the same college, I have a house in the town its in, he lives on campus) and he moved back down here. We saw each other nearly every day for a week and a half and then bam. He decided he wasn't ready for a relationship though he was already in one. He took me out to dinner the night before. Everything was normal. Nothing went wrong. We hadn't been together long enough to fight. The next day I stopped over at his apartment when I finished work so I could see him. He showed me a poem he was writing for his parent's 25th anniversary and we talked about things, like him graduating in December. I told him not to worry about graduating, but there still seemed to be something on his mind. We had a nice conversation that night, talked about things like we always did, but I knew there was something on his mind. So I asked because I cared and wanted to help.Turns out it was me. He sat by me took my hand and told me that he was doing this because he really cared about me. And then he told me that he loved being with me and spending time with me and that this was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He said that he had been in his previous relationship for three years and that the break up had really done a number on him and he wasn't ready to be in a relationship (though he already was). When I talked to him later about things, he told me that he always got caught up in the moment when he was with me and that he didn't think about his previous relationship until later, when I was gone.So he dumped me. My life went from perfect to miserable in ten minutes.And now it's been almost three weeks and I still feel this is a mistake. I still have feelings for him and I've been on a few dates, but really... Today I saw a cute guy in the stairs and wished I would have been five seconds faster so I could run into him face to face. Then I looked at him again and realized that it was my ex. And when that happened, all I wanted to do was turn around and run down the stairs after him. Later I ended up walking behind him on the way to the parking lot. I couldn't breathe because again, I wanted to run up to him and grab his hand.So what do I do? Everyone tells me not to talk to him for a while to make him miss me. So that's what I'm doing. But when I ran into him today I realized that I want to talk to him. That I want to tell him that I feel like this is a mistake.What do I do? I want to get him back, because everything in me tells me that this is wrong.
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female
reader, heart-shaped-balloon +, writes (5 October 2010):
 You need to let him go... He's still in love with his ex, and as long as he loves her then he has no room for you. You deserve to be higher than second best. Give him space. If you start clinging or going for him, he will just push you further and further away and maybe even start disliking you.
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