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What do I do?! Do I just pack up and mosey on or wait it out or what?!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 August 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

About a month ago I started dating this guy from work. Things were going really well. We actually started forming a relationship quite quickly. I would hang at his house all the time. I met his family and closest friends. Things were going great... Until I was approached by management at work... It's looked down upon for employees to date (btw I'm a manager, not his manager but still a manager). My upper management had made some comments which I thought sounded like they found out about us. After my meeting I spoke with him and this whole thing exploded. We both got scared and in the end deaded the relationship. But during that time I kind of took my emotions out on him in the wrong way. I really like him but became spiteful and mad that he didn't want to continue the relationship. I said lots of things which made him mad and showed a real unattractive side of me. I blew up his phone, blocked him on Facebook. All the typical immature things to do. Well come to find out yesterday I find out that upper management has no idea we were even dating. That they were really addressing an unrelated issue. I finally got him to answer my texts/calls briefly to tell him this and he laughed (partly in relief and partly at my stupidity). I apologized and said that I know he had a lot of thinking to do as far as weather or not he wanted to start talking again and that I would give him time to think. Well of course since then I've been anxious and keep texting him etc. But no answer. A fellow coworker (who knows of the relationship) talked to him and he said I made him really mad and that he doesn't want to deal with the drama I put him through after only dating a month. But the thing of it is we got along so well. I keep texting him apologizing and he keeps ignoring my texts. What do I do?! Do I just pack up and mosey on or wait it out or what?!

View related questions: at work, co-worker, facebook, immature, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntPoor Dude!

If you already have apologized then leave him be. IT IS over. And seriously, rethink your behavior. Blowing up his FB? How old are you?

And now you know.. Dating a co-worker is not the way to go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013):

Well for starters, STOP texting him. A simple apology will suffice. You are acting kind of crazy (and I would say this to my best friends if they did the same thing so try to take my advice constructively).

This is a learning experience. You can't be blowing off the handle and acting immaturely about things that are out of your control. Hopefully you will have learned something from your reaction and work hard at not ever repeating the same mistake twice.

As for him, you need to give him space and stop contacting him. He is not responding so he doesn't want to talk. If you really care about him, that's the best thing you can do to show it. You probably scared him. Put yourself in his shoes. If you were dating a guy for just a month and you thought your job that you'd worked so hard for was on the line because of the relationship and decided to cool off until the dust settles and the guy turns around and starts acting like a psycho, would you want to talk to him ever again?

For now just leave him alone. He may come around, he may not. But more importantly I think you should reflect on why you reacted the way you did. You keep acting that way and you are going to continue scaring guys off left and right. You are putting way too much stock in this one guy who you just met and if this is a pattern, now is a good time for you to fix the problem and figure out what is going on with you internally that is causing you to behave this way. If you do not work on yourself your behavior is going to continue to pose problems in your life.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (10 August 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntI agree, you should just quit it and walk away. He's probably thinking he had a lucky escape and its a shame you work together because you will probably be forever known as the 'Crazy Lady' (guys talk ya' know)

Do damamge limitation and back off a million miles, cos if you keep harrassing him, he could get you fired!

Maybe you just got a little so serious too soon...meeting his family and hangign out with him all the time after only a month is overkill. In relationships you should go slower and then some!

Sorry this happened to you but think of your job...it's time to go silent! xx

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (10 August 2013):

llifton agony auntyou pack up and mosey on and leave him be. after a month, you showed him you can be a bit crazy and dramatic. which i'm not saying to be harsh. just realistic. i might be inclined to do the same if i were in his shoes. it was a flash to what the future may entail with you. so he decided it wasn't worth it. if you can act like that towards him after such a short span of time, what would you act like later on? it was a big turn off to him. and the more you keep blowing him up and acting clingy, the more he wants to not be with you.

this relationship is over. honestly, it's probably for the best, anyway. you may not see that now, seeing as how you're caught up in the emotions of it all. but in the long-run, it's best you don't get involved with an employee. it's not worth losing your job over.

best wishes.

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