A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Need some genuine advice about workplace cliques..apologise for the length..My workplace is not an office, its a hospital, which is very different..I work with a lot of very cliquey girls, no bad vibes or hate between us or my boss, just a very strong, sometimes quite frustrating clique, yes cliques are totally expected in the workplace I know..My boss is also in the clique, she is a very, assertive, outgoing and super confident 35 yr old, very chatty and friendly with the younger girls at work. Im quieter and shyer and only work with her 2-3 times per week, if that.. she almost always says hi to me but rarely makes conversation effort, too many others for her to talk to.... which is fine, I do my work and always say hi when I see her, have tried a few times to talk to her, and rarely she may ask after me, she is a bit rude?.. she doesnt give me much conversation, we have such different personalities and dont really "gel" socially.should i be worried she doesnt talk to me much?or just do my work and say hi?Quite a few girls are younger than me,( the clique is an all age thing, not just the 20 somethings) Im quieter, say hi make small talk, be polite and do my work,I have no enemies but my colleagues are aquaintances, which is fine, dont want to be anyones best friend... just need genuine advice on how to deal with cliques? keep being polite and neutral and do my work? just feel so frustated at them all , they are so.. cliquey and at times it mkes the rest of us feel weird.. yes a few others have noticed too.. because of this clique most of the ppl I work with, my boss included.. are so self absorbed and wont make much effort to talk to me about non work things,..which is expected.. (or the few others not in the clique socially.) I like my work and am not going to leave, dont want to, am not being harassed or bullied, am just ... not in.. i like most of colleagues.. but how to deal with these cliques?yes i have a small circle of friends out side of work,dont need work to be my main source of friends..thanks for any advice - plse dont be nasty..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): You say you're quite shy and don't need work colleagues as friends-if this is the case then why are you concerned about not being included, given you say you're not being bullied or harrassed?
I think you have two choices:
Accept who you are and don't place any emphasis on this. Remain friendly and professional but view your colleagues as just that-don't expect or give too much
Think about who you would like to be and make an effort to change who you are in order to be included.
I'd opt for the former myslef.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I'm sorry it is this way for you...its so much more fun going to work if you are excited to see someone you work with! If you want to be excepted at this point, you might try bringing in goodies for awhile. I know it sounds cheesy, but it really works! They just haven't seen any reason to be your friend yet and you need to give them one :)
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