A
male
age
41-50,
*ageWarrior
writes:Hello,I have been with the same woman for almost 3 years now. She is a very good person and only had 4 boyfriends. I've been with maybe like 80 girls. I'm not proud of my past with women but I've cheated on her before and she is aware of my infidelity. I have attempted to sever the relationship but she refuses to let me go. I love her but def not like she loves me. She's in still deeply in love with me after all this time and I can't help myself but to check out her friends( all sexy ), even though she's gorgeous herself ( she's modeled in the past ) I have broken her heart before and don't want to do it again, but i know that we can't go on like this. I rather be her friend, we get along when things are good. She's good to me in a lot of ways. I want to be committed but i wonder if the time is right ( don't think so) and i don't see myself marrying her. How should i proceed ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): i agree. i do believe that the major problem is you are dragging her along. she believes that you want to be with her because you are telling her that you love her. you need to be a little more honest and explain that even though you love her that you are just no longer in love with her. that it will never work the way that she truly wants because you are not at that point in your life right now. you need to make her see this so that she can find someone that truly wants to be with her and only her. she sounds like a good woman. and you sound like a good man but the two of you are just not good together. you both lead different paths in life. you need to make her see that she needs to let you go and you need to let her go also...
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Hi CageWarrior,
Tread very carefully. You care about her and that is obvious, but you've been truthfull about your feelings. Be truthfull with her and admitt your not ready to settle down and you don't think you can be faithfull to her. She will be angry and will probably say things to hurt you and make you as angry as her. But remain calm and just tell her your not a man who can settle down to one woman at the moment. Reassure her the fault is all yours, but remind her you've cheated before, and you know yourself well enough to know that you will cheat again. She may be very clingy and try to call you and convince you to change your mind. Don't go back to her, once you're finished, make sure your finished with her for good. Don't give her false hopes or make her wait or drag this thing on, cause that would be cruel.
As I've said you've been very honest, you've tried this relationship thing as long as you can. Your not a bad person, you just met this woman at the wrong period in your life. I hope things go well, I wish all men that thought like this were as clear sighted and caring as you seem to be. Good luck.
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