A
female
age
30-35,
*optop197
writes:There's this guy that I like. Sometimes I think he likes me and sometimes I'm not so sure. He is the brother of one of my friends on my soccer team. He is also my soccer coach’s son. At the end of this year I will be 17 and he will be 18. We've known each other for about five years and I've had a crush on him for about four years. Pathetic huh? I saw him a while back when my soccer team and his soccer team were having a soccer practice together and I got a ridiculously strong "I like you" vibe from him. Sometimes he seems really into me, like staring at me and stuff, but then other times he completely ignores me. I know for a fact that he is really shy. I'm pretty sure he likes me, but I don't know what to do about the whole "extreme shyness" thing. I added him as a friend on Facebook and that was fine. He accepted. Then, after seeing him get hit in the face with a soccer ball at a soccer practice, I wrote on his wall asking him if he was okay. He never responded. Whenever I try to say something directly to him, he pretty much always acts like he doesn't hear me. Like I said, I'm pretty sure he likes me, but he when I try to initiate anything, he closes off. This one time at soccer practice he seemed really into me. He would always sit beside me and he purposely chose the same team as me and, before this, whenever I would say something, he would kinda ignore me or pretend that he hadn't heard me, but this time everything I said got a response of some sort, he would either answer me, comment on what I said or laugh or chuckle. I also know that he only has like, two close friends, he graduated last year and isn't currently going to school, he basically does nothing all day, and he's never had a girlfriend. I know, i'm making him sound great. :-)And I know, I know, If I am so sure that he likes me I should tell him. But I don't want to scare him away. Because if just talking to him makes him clam up, he would really panic if I told him I liked him, or even asked him out. So basically what I'm asking is - what should I do about this? When I try to talk to him I seem to scare him away, but then I ignore him and he is constantly looking at me and paying attention to me. Mixed signals much? Sorry this was so long. Thanks for your help!
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crush, facebook, never had a girlfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, airn230  +, writes (9 July 2009):
OMG. This guy sounds just like my brother. My brother does this with girls, and even when he interested he just shuts them out. My brother didn't get his first girlfriend till he was 20, and that was only because the girl made the first move. So I say make a move. If you and his sibling from the soccer team go do something invite him. Just start inviting him places to go with you, and see if he takes the bait. It sounds like you are going to have to be the assertive one. Thats what girls had to do with my brother. Also if you are going with somebody he knows like his sibling, then there is common ground and less likely to be so awkward. I hope I was some help!! Good luck to you!!
A
male
reader, infamous +, writes (9 July 2009):
i myself had an extreme shyness towards girls at one time.i would stutter, my knees would shake, and i would laugh to much at something funny they told me, and if it was a girl i liked it was worse. what got me used to talking to the girl i liked(who i am now with for almost two years) was her asking about me. i thought it was wierd having a girl wanting to know about me but i eventually opened up to her and started hanging out with her the more comfortable i got.so my answer to your question, from my experience of being a shyguy, is just let him feel comfortable around you. find out what he likes to do for fun or what interests him and find something about yourself that relates. over time im pretty sure he'll warm up to you and hopefully if it works you two can be a happy couple :)best of luck to ya.
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