A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:He wanted to play a 10 question game, and asked me to ask anything i wanted within a 10 minute frame lol, of course i was clueless and being a visual person, i must write thing out to accomplish my thoughts at all times. What do i ask him? Top 20 questions, without being to nosy! Dont have a clue! Told him to give me a few days. WOW 20 years ago.....never had to deal with this approach! Just caught off guard i guess. HELP ME!Angele Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (14 March 2007):
Well I do agree with the others - 10 questions in 10 minutes - sounds like fun.
It is worth you practising being able to go with the flow and not having to write everything down. It wasn't a test. It didn't matter what you said to him or what he said to you. People in relationships like to do fun things together - it creates intimacy.
Here is a game you can play, to practice not writing things down - it's a pointless game. You say a word, and then he ways a word, and so on. You just say any word - they're not supposed to be connected but they don't have to be disconnected. So he might say: cuddle, you might say, champagne, he might say: snowdrops and so on. You just have fun saying things to one another.
* * *
Anyway, to answer your somewhat serious question, here are some questions that you might want to look for answers to before making any serious commitments to this guy:
* what is his family background, how well did all his family get on?
* why did his previous relationships break down? what has he learned from his past relationships and what does he do differently now?
* if you asked his previous partners to list their biggest complaints about him, what would they be? does he agree or disagree?
* what has he learned about himself from his life experiences?
* what key things are very important to him?
* what difficult moral choices has he had to make?
* what is his attitude towards love, commitment and communication within a relationship?
* what beliefs does he have? how do they impact his life?
* what are his personal goals in life.
* how would he like to change in the next five years?
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (14 March 2007):
 I think you spoilt the fun when you started thinking way too much into it. And I cant believe you asked him to give you a few days?!! lol. You said it caught you off guard when he asked you in the spontaneity, but I think you too caught him off guard when you told him to give you a few days to just to play a game!!
But to answer your question in answering his question, you could start by asking 'favourite questions', for example, "What is your favourite food/colour/etc?". These would be nice ice breaking answers which are not to direct. Then you could step it up a notch if you fancy him (which Im sensing you do), and ask him the 'personal but not private questions', such as "How many ex-es do you have (if you really want to know)?" or "What do you think is hot in a woman?". These questions are meant to be a little flirty but at the same time, not overstepping the line. Watch his reaction when you ask the questions, if hes really laid back and easy going, and you like him and sense he digs you too, you could probably take it a step further by asking the 'red alert questions', such as, "Which sex position do you think you're most likely to start up by if you had sex now?" or "Do you have any fetishes?". Im sure since you've bought yourself some time off to think so that you could finish the game at a later date, you'll cook something up by then!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): Ask him how many people he has been with...if its any move on. Dont do it.
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A
female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (14 March 2007):
The reason why you have ten minutes is because he wants these questions to be spontaneously. Whatever is in your mind. Your favorite colour? The last time you cried? Whateva springs up at your mind. I think thats the whole point of the game. So dont think about it just ask.
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