A
female
age
30-35,
*uttdimondz
writes:hi im an 18 year old female ,a few months ago i had a dream where my boyfriend who is 22 was just standing there in the pitch black with a heavy mist passing behind him , he looked lifless and pale.. he is a heavier guy about 210 lbs. in my dream he was very thin ,about my size and im about 120 lbs...the scarriest thing about it was that his eyes were black and glossy, even the white of his eye.. i told him about this dream so he could tell his mother because she knows about these things.. a couple of weeks later my boyfriend had told me that his mother entered my dream and saw the same thing. she told him what it meant but told him NOT to tell me... since my dream him and i have been arguing constantly and have even been a little bit physical.. can you tell me what this means?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 Don't let yourself be bothered by it. This is not something that is easy to interpret, especially as I don't even know either of you. If his mother decided to add meaning to it, then let that be up to her. Don't let her secrecy affect you. You were the one who had the dream and she can interpret it as much as she pleases, but ultimately you had that dream because of something within YOU. Not because of something with your boyfriend.
Your dreams are always about yourself. An interpretation of this dream is an interpretation of you, not of your boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2010): If you are asking if your dream has any specific meaning, then my personal answer would be no, I don't think so. There are books out there which list various dreams and their meanings, and you can find information about them on the internet. But I personally don't believe that to dream of something means a certain thing for everyone.
I guess your dream must have been quite scary, and it must have worried you. But dreams do not tend to represent reality. They do not mean that what happens in the dream is going to come true. What does the dream mean for you? Does it have any kind of significance? When you think about the dream, what ideas, thoughts or feelings come up? I think that is the best way to deal with dreams we feel troubled by. Find out what it means for us personally.
I have often had strange and worrying dreams, and I find it can help to write it down. I write down what happened, the theme of the dream, who was in the dream, how I felt, etc. It can help me make sense of it, and I am sometimes surprised by what I discover. So maybe that could be something you could try?
I am concerned though by how you said you and your boyfriend are arguing, and are sometimes physical. That worries me a lot. Do you mean you shove each other around a bit? Or is it more than that? Do you hit each other? Physical aggression is really not a good thing for a relationship, and I would ask you to be careful. Maybe you could think about taking a break from the relationship, until you have both had time to calm down and think.
I don't think there is any connection between your dream and the way the relationship is going through a difficult patch now. The only way I think there could possibly be a link is that you may be letting the dream bother you a lot, and that may be causing friction within the relationship without you even being aware of it. So whatever happened in the dream, try not to take it literally or be too concerned by it. Just work out what it means for you, and that might bring you some comfort and closure from it. But again, please do be careful about the physical aggression, and if you feel threatened in any way, or if your boyfriend starts to hit you, please consider walking away for your own safety, and also for his safety. I hope something here helps. x
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