A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend told me this: "I sometimes love you and sometimes not, when you're with me I don't but when I'm with you I really want you to be with me"I have no idea what to do, we broke up a week or two ago but we both want to be back, but she is too confused about what's happening. Is there something I can tell her/do something?Thanks!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 The hidden message in what you describe is that SHE wants to control the agenda..... and she's even been bold enough to tell you so.....
YOU'RE "question" is: Do you want to spend time with a woman who has already told you that she (and only she) will have control of what goes on between the two of you?
OR.... would you prefer a balanced "relationship" wherein you do not have to plow through the lady's childish discourse to determine just what is going on between the two of you?????
Good luck...
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 There may be some language differences here. I don't know whether "when you're with me" and "when I'm with you" mean the same thing. "When you're with me" means when you can have your own way, you decide what to do on a date; "When I'm with you" means she takes charge.
I think it has something to do with power balance in the relationship.
She is saying this in the hopes that you would just read her mind and find out what it takes to make her feel loved. Basically she's saying you suck, man up and make me feel good, just do whatever. You do things that annoy me, I won't tell you what it is, but I know you are trying, keep trying because at least I like your effort.
Tell her that is not the right way to talk to a guy. She has to communicate what's bothering her. When talking doesn't work then you should stay broken up. Tell her the way she talks to you makes you feel worthless and you believe yourself to be a decent guy, so maybe you two just don't get on with each other.
I won't even try to analyze what she is saying. Just tell her you don't deal with vague language.
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