A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been together for 3 years. We are currently in a long distance relationship. This past weekend, my bf came to visit. As we walked into my dorm, we both noticed a girl staring at him for a long time. After a few minutes she finally said hello to my bf. He briefly (and awkwardly) returned her greeting as we started towards the stairs. It turns out the girl was an old crush of his. When we got to my room, my bf seemed flustered and upset. I made jokes about the situation and he seemed to brush it off and forget it.Lately, I have started seeing my bf's past crush hanging around the front desk almost every night. I jokingly told him about it over skype and he seemed to get flustered again. He told me that he found her facebook and was considering adding her. Before I could comment, he abruptly demanded that I stroke his ego. I asked what he meant but he refused to explain. He started to get angry with me. I didn't want to fight so I started saying sexual things about how he turns me on and how sexy he is but refused to accept it. He told me that I was doing it wrong and if he talked to his old crush she would've talked about other things.It's been about a day and he still refuses to talk to me. He's seriously mad. What did I do wrong? How should I handle this situation? I feel disrespected but am I blowing things out of proportion?
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (20 April 2012):
 His behaviour is consistent with someone who has just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar (or nookie jar?).If the young woman who stared at him were an innocent friend they would have greeted one another casually and went about their business. Both hesitated because neither wanted you to know the nature of their acquaintance.He admitted he had a crush on her and that he'd recently been thinking of adding her to facebook.Now she's hanging around his lobby. Either he's arranged for her to come over after you leave or she's hoping for a chance encounter (or there is another reasonable explanation and we're just paranoid).He wanted you to stroke his ego to distract you from asking inconvenient questions and to guage your reaction (to see whether or not you suspected something). He wasn't angry that you were 'doing it wrong'. He just wasn't in the mood for sex talk and he used that as excuse to deflect attention from his suspicious behaviour to you. You know the old saying 'the best defense is a good offense'.He isn't angry. He just doesn't have credible answers ready.Please stop trying to reach out to him. It makes you look silly. Say nothing more. If you don't hear from him in 1 week with a reasonable explanation then assume it's over and move on without another word.
A
female
reader, malletchick76  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Girl you didn't do anything wrong. He just likes the attention from an old flame and his current lover.
I'd just stay away from him and let him simmer down. Then in a week or so talk about it and ask him what he expected of you in that situation.
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A
male
reader, Cozmo  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 Do you talk to him at length or is it just cyber sex when you skype with him?
It looks like he is trying to say his old crush would talk to him about other things. If you do talk to him at length as a partner rather than just a lover then I don't think that is it. But from what you said he said; I'm leaning towards it.
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