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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need some advice, on how I contributed to this problematic relationship. The first 2 years were fine, but the last year that we moved in together was complete hell. She was always very insecure and would accuse me of being interested in other woman. She would go through my cell phone and my email with out my consent. I always had the strange feeling I should keep my cell phone under lock and key. It even got to the point where it became physical. At first it was her pushing and shoving then it became slapping and then ripping my clothes. One night after an argument I told her I'm going to a friends for the night to cool off, I came back the next morning to find a lot of my things in the garbage. I wasn't even allowed to mention a womans name either as an acquaintance or a coworker. Because if I did she would assume I'm dating them. I remember last christmas, she was pushing me around in her sisters bathroom, all because I had sent a text to a coworker that said "Happy Birthday". She also seemed never happy with the amount of attention or love I did give her. It was if I was doing everything wrong. But I had always read tons of relationship books, but I guess that wasn't good enough. She refused to go to counseling with me, she would only do online counseling. After one argument, where she started a fight about me in front of her family, I packed up some things and left. While leaving the majority of my belongings in her apartment. 7 days later I call to see if we could talk and some other guy answers. He tells me that I'm "Done" and to come get my shit and leave. 5 months later, they are still together and he's living there. She doesn't happy, based on her facebook pics. But anyways, I keep wondering, was I abusive to her because I kept wanting to leave? That I kept up and leaving after arguments where she was hitting me? My uncle is a judge here, and he told me to run the other way. His reasoning was, that woman that hit, will most of the time say that they were hit first. Even if it wasn't true. And the courts will side with the woman. Then both will get charged. I didn't know that, but one time she did try to say I hit her, when in reality I just pushed her off me, when she was hitting me. I'm messed up, I keep wondering what I did that caused this.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 hi
obviously i don't know her side of the story but from what you say she seems like she has got some sort of personality disorder and if that is the case, you have done NOTHING to deserve her appalling treatment of you. look at personality disorders on the internet, i think this might fall into the narcissus syndrome category, shows definite similarities. of course she doesn't look happy on her facebook pics. people like her never are so what they do is take it all out on the person nearest to them. if she is still looking miserable now, it just goes to show, it was not your fault. enjoy your freedom and the peace of mind that being away from her will give you
xx
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