A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 years old, and my boyfriend is 17. We've been together for about 2 months, he isn't one of these older boys who are just after sex or anything, he is a really decent lad. I persuaded my mum and dad to let him sleep round at the weekend. They said he has to sleep downstairs though. I don't mind this, because it is the first time he has slept. But, when he comes round for the day, they won't even let me go upstairs with him. I know nothing would happen between us, because I trust him, and he doesn't want anything to happen yet, nor do I. But I think it would be better if we had a bit more privacy. But how can I persuade my parents to let us in my room during the day? :/ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 You could talk to me until you were blue in the face and I would never be persuaded. I'm in total agreement with CG, your parents are just doing their job. Consider yourself lucky, I wouldn't allow my daughters to even date at 14.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): this wasnt an issue for me as my parents always brought me up to the way of thinking sex is wrong before it is legal. Why not talk to them? talk about your beliefs and that neither of you are wanting sex, just privacy. Say it straight out. This way they know you are able to talk to them about things like this and would be able to go to them with bigger sexrelated issues. Let them get to know your boyfriend better too. Dont rush things they may just want to know him more so they are able to trust him themselves.
good luck
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 I can tell you that nothing would persuade me, as a parent, to allow it. It's not so much a question of trusting you. Part of a parent's job is to keep you from being in situations that can get out of control. Two teenagers dating, with privacy, is by definition a situation that can get out of control. I don't believe in tempting fate.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Maybe you can compromise with them, say perhaps you can be in your room if you keep the door open? Or perhaps you can go in the yard or somewhere outside of hearing range, but where they can still see you? That way you could at least talk privately.
Your parents might just think it's not appropriate for a young girl to be alone with a young man, much like in the old days. Back then all the ladies needed an older chaperon to follow them around, making sure nothing indeecent went on.
Try to not focus so much on the privacy part. Try to enjoy his company, and talk about private things, even when your parents can hear you. If the ladies back in the 19th century could have intimate conversations while their older aunt was precent then surely you can as well.
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