A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months. We live in the same campus accommodation at our university and hang out in each other's rooms every day. I get on really well with all his friends and we have a nice relaxed time together. However he's started saying he would like us to go out somewhere. He's never been on a date and neither have I, and to be honest just the word freaks me out.I get anxious easily (though I don't know if I actually have anxiety- I'm about to start therapy and this is something I need to figure out). I absolutely hate eating in public. Recently we went out to get a takeaway dinner, but he paused outside the restaurant next door and asked if we could go in and eat in there instead. I panicked and nearly started crying, though I didn't even really know why. He assured me it was fine and we got the takeaway and took it home, but I could tell he was disappointed. I hate letting him down like that.Does anyone have suggestions for non-anxiety-inducing dates? I really want to find something outside our building for us to do that will be enjoyable for both of us. Maybe in the future I'll get used to the food thing but I just don't think I'm ready for it yet.
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female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (30 December 2015):
Is it just eating in public that's the issue? There are plenty of things to do that don't involve food (or at least where food is optional)
The cinema (a good option for when you're at the stage to challenge your phobia as the lights are down and everyone's normally looking in one direction if you want to take a sneaky mouthful of something)
The theatre (go and watch your university's drama society productions or a local am-dram group - it's much cheaper)
Stand-up comedy club
Music concerts (smaller concerts or classical music if crowds bother you - go and support a local band who are just starting out)
Art galleries and museums
Historical sites
Botanical gardens
Funfairs
Markets and fairs - (food festivals are fun and you can buy ingredients to cook together at home instead of eating on site)
Ice skating
Swimming (or trips to the beach if you live near the sea)
Country Walks - in the summer you can take a picnic and find somewhere private to eat it when you feel confident enough
Or you can invite a couple of friends round for charades or board games (although that's not really a date but it's fun)
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