A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Been with bf for five months and he went back home for the holidays for a few days. I didn't expect constant contact and didn't get it either. But after Xmas, two days of no contact at all. I caved and texted him, he called me back. Apparently his family is having issues etc. We hung up after two minutes and he said he'd call back. Then he said his phone was dying and he'd call me the next day. Never did. I texted to ask if he had a ride coming from the airport, he said he'd ask around. I offered but he seemed reluctant to accept. I feel really strange. Like something's up. His Ex is also in his hometown and now I'm wondering... I'm feeling distant towards him and I can't understand it. This is a man who can't go a day without texting me/calling me and letting me know he misses me. I usually give him more space but he complains about it. A friend was like: "maybe he told his family about you and they don't approve." Well, wouldn't be the first time. Two men I've dated have given up on me cause of family. The first was Indian and the family wouldn't accept a black girl. The second was Hispanic and they weren't keen either. I don't go out of my way to date men of different backgrounds but it happens even as I did try to look for men of my own race cause it hurt so much to be rejected for something I had/have no choice over. This boyfriend is as white as it gets so maybe....? His friends were shocked when he introduced me ... I'm not unattractive, I'm reasonably educated and most people I meet tell me I have a great sense of humor-but most of them barely bothered speaking to me. Part of me feels like I'm overreacting but part of me feels there's something wrong. My ex put up that same distance when his dad met me and apparently told him that we were too different culturally to ever get married etc. Anyway, I'm so overwrought that I actually just want to drop him home and go back to my own place this evening.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2015): Don't chase after him. Let him contact you. His being a jerk. It sucks when your SO goes cold and distant without warning or reason. But I've learned the hard way not to chase. The more you push the more he'll pull away. I would wait until your alone and then ask him what's wrong.
As a black women who's dated other races I understand what you're going through. All I can say is don't waste time on guys who aren't confident in dating you. You need to be with someone who is proud to be with you regardless of your race. It shouldn't matter.
Good luck :)
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