A
female
age
30-35,
*sdfg
writes:I've been good friends with this guy for the last two years since working with him on a political campaign. We're now in college together, and he says he considers me to be one of his very best friends. He'd often tell me about the fact that he was a 22- (now 24-)year-old virgin, as if he hated that fact. He joked about how he just couldn't get laid. I admit, I mean, I didn't find him particularly attractive myself, though that sexual pressure was never there and it was never an issue; he just talked to me about his feelings a lot and we'd joke about it. Well in the last few weeks, he finally came out and basically said he liked me. Then we engaged in cybersex (my first time doing such a thing) over Facebook like last week. Then he asked if I'd come visit him at his new apartment when he moves this weekend, and I assumed he was hinting at sex. I'm a very much a sexual liberal, or a "skank" in the eyes of the religious right. I've only slept with 4 guys, but I'm willing to try anything once, and I have tried a lot, since I find enjoyment in my discoveries and the journey along the way as I learn who I am and what I like. In hindsight, I know it was STUPID but I basically eventually thought to myself that I would be comfortable helping my friend get the "virginity monkey" off his back. I myself didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, and I always felt left out and like a loser because of it seeing as I never had any care for waiting for marriage. So, in the midst of our conversation last night as he was hinting at sex I said that I would be comfortable being with him for just one night. He seemed, seriously, quite excited about it, as he told me what he wanted to do to me and asked me what I liked. Then, because I said I only wanted one night, he asked if I was in a relationship. I wasn't; I've just been friends with benefits with two men for the last few months. So then he was like, "your place, my place, or hotel?" Hotel? What, like I'm a prostitute? I figured he was just joking around and hadn't really thought about what he said, so I didn't let it bother me and figured he just stuck his foot in his mouth and tried to laugh it off...Then, out of nowhere, he said, "Do you want to see something I've never shown anyone else before?" When I saw this, in the context of the conversation I figured it was a penis pic or something like that.Instead, what he e-mailed me was part of his diary detailing his thoughts on every girl who ever wanted to sleep with him (several of which I knew personally, since he listed names), all of which he had nothing but bad things to say about. To give just a few snippets of his several pages of writing... "...what a beautiful name for such a pasty tomboy...you're kind of ugly...you don't believe in god...since the last time I saw you you've had 14 boyfriends...I wouldn't go near your body with 23 condoms, pills, foams, and lube...you want to have sex with a man for pleasure only. You'd probably make him get a vasectomy. For eternity, only you and him, and maybe a dog." I was utterly horrified after reading this, and started sobbing. After feeling comfortable enough to spill the beans about myself, I could only imagine what the entry he would soon write about me would say. So in disgust, I wrote it for him following exactly how he wrote about the other women:"*MeUsually thought of as light, delicate, beautiful and feminine, *Me, the 19-year-old woman, was quite the opposite of the material so often associated with her name. Having met—at least online—*Me when she was just 16 or 17 through the * campaign, we quickly became chat buddies as I discovered she was soon coming to * and later, to *. As we mused about the issues of the day we'd occasionally tease one-another with sexual innuendos, with *Me sometimes poking fun at my virginity that I pretended I wished I didn't have to deal with. *Me came, went, and came back to the * campus, and during a random conversation over Facebook during the fall of her return, somehow or another * and I engaged in cybersex. Once it happened, it couldn't be ignored, and on Friday that same week the subject came up again, with * eventually sending me a text that suggested she really did want to pounce on me, and not just online. I turned her down, telling her I would probably contact her over the weekend to cash in my rain check. And that's when things got interesting. Through a series of attempted clarifications on silly miscommunications, * eventually took it upon herself to clarify everything, telling me that she was seeing two other guys at the same time she wanted to see me. She believed in casual sex, she explained, and if I were to take her up on her offer it would have to be for just one night, at least at first, for fear of emotional attachment. Fear of emotional attachment. In horror, I snarkily replied, “hotel, your place, or my place,” as if to suggest she were a prostitute. While she may or may not be a prostitute taking her johns to hourly hotels, she'll forever be a skank in my book that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. In sum, she's the worst traits of * and * combined, minus the cigarettes. No thank you."I somehow spat that out in about 20 minutes and sent it to him, to which he replied that he was so sorry, he would never intentionally hurt me, that he has no problem with my sexuality, he's destroying the writing because he's so sorry, etc. Strangest of all, he wrote "The women in these stories were only illusions and there was never anything as significant or as long as your and my online conversations." Huh? So you just made this stuff up??I suppose it's largely my fault since I believed him as he described how he wished he could just get laid once and for all, and I offered to do the favor. Nevertheless, things between this kid--who's always said I'm one of his best friends--and I will never be the same. I'm incredibly hurt. My question, then, is, what in the hell could possibly have been going through this kid's head when he asked me if I wanted to see his dirty diary that I apparently would soon be a part of?
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (3 October 2010):
 he seems weird and very troubled. dont help him have sex.he will probably stalk u or get hurt and tell everyone.avoid him.
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