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female
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anonymous
writes: What could be some reasons that my boyfriend doesn't want to move in together? We have been fighting a lot and were trying to work things out and that is the reason he told me he doesn't want to move in together. It could be very true that its just that reason, but then theres just all these things running through my head like i don't know if its because he doesn't want me to know about some things/or is he still trying to search for someone better? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (17 February 2007):
 It sounds to me like he told you EXACTLY the reason why he doesn't want to move in together. Maybe after you fight, he needs space from you to get his head together. If you move in together, you won't have that space anymore.
I don't think he's trying to keep secrets or that he's still looking for someone better (all though, as a disclaimer - I don't know the guy. Maybe he is. But I doubt it.)... moving in together is a HUGE step. It's not something to be taken lightly. if he's going to move in with you, he probably wants to be super comfortable with you, and all the kinks in your relationship need to be smoothed out. Who wants to move in with someone they're already having issues with (i.e. the fighting)?
Before you move in together, you need to solve the problem behind these fights. And give him time. If he doesn't want to rush things, you don't need to rush things! You've got your entire lives to live together. What's a couple extra months to strengthen your bond even more?
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (17 February 2007):
 I think you are reading to much into why he desen't want to move in with you.
The first one sounds like a very plausible reason why he dosen't, and i would be inclined to believe this.
If the two of you are fighting alot lately it's not generally a good idea to set up home together at this time. I think he is probably waiting a few months to see how things pan out.
A good way to tell if you are both compatible to live together is to go on holiday for two weeks together, if you are sqabbling like cat and dog then its a good sign that you are not ready to live together.
Good luck x
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