A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what is a healty sex life? How many times should you have it? When you don't feel like you are getting enough sex or feel rejected when you try to make the first move does it mean he is not interested in you?
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): To the sandman who just answered my question.
Thank you for the info. Yes i have tried to talk about it but he doesn't think there is anything wrong with our relationship. No matter how I try to be sexy for him, I get turned down. Now you think a man would like that and jump on it. Yet he will look at other women and find them beautiful or what ever goes on in a mans head when they look at another.
A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (20 September 2008):
 There are many factors that come together to create what is considered a healthy sex life.
First of all, a healthy sex life is defined by each couple. So while others might state what they feel is a healthy sex life, the truth is that everyone doesn't fall into the same categories.
Having said that, a healthy sex life could be entering into sex once (twice, three times, etc) per day, once per week, once per month, or once per year - with variations falling in between those. So if you and your husband decide to have sex as much as 5 times per day - then that it is what will be healthy for the both of you. Or you can decide to have sex as little as once per year! As long as both parties are "happy", then it can be "healthy".
But you asked about what if you aren't getting enough? Well, that will have to be communicated to the other person that you are not getting enough. Perhaps they feel as though you are, therefore they aren't motivated to institute sex as much as you desire. Or, you could institute sex and they aren't wanting it. That's okay! Sex is only one part of the intimacy involved in a relationship. If one party isn't wanting sex at the time, then take the time to cuddle or sit and watch your favorite shows together. When you are not having sex, this time could be used to continue to build upon the emotional bond between you and your partner. A lot of times, this bonding leads to unintended sex for couples.
However, if you truly need more sex in your relationship, that needs to be talked about with your partner. Perhaps the both of you can come to a compromise on how much sex is enough for the both of you to be "satisfied". Once you come to an agreement, and the both of you are happy, then the sex in your relationship is then considered healthy.
And just because a man (or woman) rejects your advances for sex, this does NOT mean they are not interested in you. It simply means they are not interested in sex AT THAT TIME. Sex involves more than the physical act, there are emotions involved too. Stress (about work, finances, home, etc), anxieties, outside worries can lead to decreased libido. Talking to your partner will help to discover what issues they are having - and how you can help.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
