A
female
age
41-50,
*va_shaw
writes:Hi everyone. Some objective perspective would be greatly appreciated here. I have been dating this guy for four months now. We were friends for two years though saw each other rarely as he had been working outside europe at the time. At first I was very reluctant but he gradually won me over with his intellgence, warmth and humour. It was a very intense relationship from the beginning and up until recently he showered me with a lot of attention, met and charmed my friends and family, went out of his way to see me, taking flights in order to do that on a couple of occasions, the whole nine yards. I have a rather traumatic past (which he is not aware of) when some tragic events cost me the love of my life and the only other man I dated since hurt me terribly so I have been cautious (though not indifferent at all) until recently I started to unwind and being more tender (verbally. None of us said the l word but everything was perfcet until two weeks ago. There was a big celebration of my birthday coupled with a business success and while he had received an invitation he never aknowledged it or even congratulate me and now he hardly ever writes and if he does it is a boring one liner without any emotion. I have also somewhat distanced myself but I have a very odd feeling about this. What could have changed so suddenly? this formality is so unlike him and while I am fully aware that I might be paranoid I could use some input here. Do I walk away risking losing him without knowing what is really going on or do I stay and risk the possibility of being rejected in a nice way or possibly ending up as a glorified booty call? I know talking to him might be an option but with just a hunch and too soon after "symptoms" begun I would in fact be nagging and appearing insecure, something that is not too attractive for him or for me for that matter. I have trust issues and I know that but I very much don't want to risk getting hurt. Thanks in advance
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female
reader, Eva_shaw +, writes (25 June 2009):
Eva_shaw is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response. My gut is also telling me the same thing. Today he sent me another text out of the blue. It was indifferent, a far cry from what I am used to. Like he is talking to his wife of 15 years, not a brand new girlfriend he spent 2 years trying to get a date with. I didn't answer. I am not sure why he even bothers, his heart seems to not be in it anymore and I don't want someone who doesn't want me. If this continues into next week I will be more of a man than he is right now and actually make a clean break. It doesn't make sense but then again not everything is supposed to. Thank you for reading and answering :-)
Eva
A
female
reader, Mary2012  +, writes (24 June 2009):
This kind of thing happend to me too. This is what my best friend told me: He wants to break up, but doesn't want to tell you.
I talked it over with him and it was true. He hoped that if he stopped calling I would get the hint.
My advice to you is to break up with him before he breaks up with you.
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