A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I havent seen my dad in 5 years,,he moved to Argentina together with his new girlfriend he cheated with on my mom...we moved here 7'5 years ago and the money of the house they've sold has dissappeared ( together with my dad) he is not paying for me, even though he should because they are divorced now and he's my dad...Before he moved to Argentina,, he still lived in town and I used to go visit him every Wednesday and Sunday...we had a great time most of the time...untill this ONE Sunday when I didnt want to go... I tried to call Dad before he'd take off to pick me up,, but it was already too late. When he arrived and I said I didnt want to go, he shouted at me, telling me I should've called him, I said I did...After, it got so mixed up and my mom had to take me inside... I remember my dad saying:'she's coming with me' and my mom said 'yeah, we'll see...' and then she locked the door and she told me not to worry...After she did that, he climbed right into our garden and started banging his fist on the window trying to get in...I've been thinking about it and I've come to the conclusion that if the door wouldve been open...Would he have kidnapped me?? I forced my mom to call the police, eventually they came...but I never went to visit my dad again...Now after 5 years, he showed up on my door again,,I was in shock, but ever since he's back in my life, people keep telling me that I shouldnt trust him,they say that if I go to Argentina ( just on holidays ) there will be a time in wich he will keep me there...seeing as Argentina IS a country with no laws! But my entire family tells me the same, so how can I NOT believe it??He got married now...to a woman he met in Argentina...I dont have any problem with that...My mom keeps telling me she doesnt mind me talking to Dad, but I now she does...because she hates him so much. There was a day when I said to my dad on MSN 'I love you' and my mom just got really angry with me...and she admitted that she had a problem with me saying that to him... and she says things like...'You dont even have the guts to tell him to pay for you!!' ...but is it MY place to tell him, besides, I'm scared I'm gonna loose my dad AGAIN if I say that...I dont know why I love my dad, because of everything... Please...if you know what's going on,, then explain it to me...I'm not planning on living this way for as long as I live...SOS
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divorce, money, msn, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for helping me...you all helped me a lot...
And...dont worry,, you really didnt offend me...but still, I cant see why this whole situation is all my fault...I went to see my dad every Wednesdays and Sundays and just because I didnt want to go just this ONCE, my dad doesn really have the right to try take me anyway... I dont want to start a fight with anyone on DearCupid...
But still...thank you all so much...xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): I'm sorry but this is your fault. Why didn't you just go instead of being a brat and saying "WELL I DON'T WANNA GO EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO TODAY!!" If you weren't so single minded you wouldn't be in this position, now would you?
Most of you might disagree with me, but this person sounds like she should have enough common sense to see the bigger picture.
Sorry if I offend you, but this is all your fault.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): Others may disagree with me, but I think you should give your dad a chance. Your mum might have said something which implied he might not see you again when he came round that day, even if she didn't mean it. Or vice versa, he could have said something along those lines. If you want to see him, let him come to your area until you build your relationship back up again and start to trust him. If all goes well you could fly to him now and again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): hey, i cant help but to feel a little sorry for you. i never see my real dad, he and my mum devorced ten years ago, they dont hate each other, but he is a bit of a stranger really. he used to beat my mum up and thats why the split. he lives in the same town as me but ignores me, and yet i cant help but to still love him after all that, i spent so much time just wanting him to love and care about me and be my dad, but i've realised now that its not going to happen, as much as you want him to have changed, it is unlikely that he has, plus you have lived 5 years without him ok havent you? i dont think you really need him to be honest love. i can understand why your mum was upset about what you said to him over msn- especially if you havent told her you love her a lot, see it from her side, shes looked after you on her own for 5 years while youre dad didnt seem to want to know, and then all of a sudden he turns up and you tell him you love him after hed abandoned you for so long, you can see why she was upset, but at the same time, he is your dad, and if youre anything like me, then after all that you still love him and you want him to know. i dont think you should dive strait into going on holidays with him, but if you really want him back in your life, the take it slow, and dont be expecting too much (you mentioned he has a new family)you dont want to end up getting hurt again.
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