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writes: This post is more of a page of a chapter on good communication in a relationship. The idea is to post examples of what makes poor communication. I believe poor communication is the root of most problems in relationships, if not all. Things said that hurt and the failure of the one hurt to say something, begins the failure of the relationship.Example 1:Person “A” says something to person “B”. Person “B” is hurt by what was said, but refrains from saying anything. Person “A” does not realize that what he said had hurt anyone. In person “A’s” circle of friends, they talk like this all the time. By person “B’s” non response, person “B” has set themselves up to be hurt again and again, and over time, this will have ill consequences, for they will begin to feel unloved, unwanted, or something similar that is negative.If person “B” had responded, then person “A” could have thought through it latter and tried to understand why what he said hurt. If he doesn’t get it, then he needs to talk to person “B” for more information. This may seem like a lot of work, and it does seem that way, but in order to be close, to feel trusted and wanted, this exercise needs to be performed whenever the situation dictates the need to, such in the case above. Person “A” has no clue what he did was wrong unless person “B” acknowledges it. This may seem and be a simplistic example, it may seem immature, but I believe, after my own situation and the post I have read and responded to, that this is where relationships begin to fail, is because of little things like this that just add to themselves and get bigger and bigger over time, until one explodes and withdraws, leaving the other confused, and eventually gets angered for they feel they are being treated badly and then they to start reacting the same way and each other just continues inflicting pain to the point the leave.So please, feel free to provide your own examples.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): I understand and believe this to be so true, Its the core of understanding one anothers emotions and needs, I very much like the way you write TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou do make some good points RCN, and sometimes I hesitate in saying anything for fear it will be taken the wrong way.
But if relationships cannot tackle this aspect, and perform the verbal/non-verbal communication, I doubt the relationship will last long term because of things bottled up. Those relationships that do last 50 years, are usually at some form of being at each others throat.
Making the attempt to communicate, with guidelines as to what will take place if certain feelings arise could help, but I will not say it will be 100% fulproof.
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reader, rcn  +, writes (4 April 2008):
 That is soooooooo true. But its not just the lack of communication. Speaking, nonspeaking, etc are actions, so the individuals do each by choice. They would need to communicate to work the issue out. But realistically, people attempt to avoid confrontation. The fear of rejection. All though over time acting in the way of these examples, damages a persons sense of self, many times they won't bring it up because it would mean confronting them, and possiably having the other act resentful, especially if they didn't mean anything by it. Then you get into lack of respect, and other resentments, which would be another issue.
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