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female
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anonymous
writes: Recently I started dating a man who stopped by just about every day. After I had surgery, he was stopping in to check on me. We went to dinner almost every night for a week. He stayed over a few nights... then bam- one day he seemed different. He does have a 7 year old daughter (will be 8 this year). He sees his daughter on the weekends usually because she lives about an hour and a half away (as does his extended family). Right before he got really weird, he said that his ex told him his daughter has been crying her eyes out because he doesn't spend enough time with him. (His ex is currently dating his ex best friend). Anyway- I'm not sure if he freaked himself out or what. He has had relationships since that one. The most recent of which was a disaster. The woman was going through a divorce and she had a child of her own- and they moved in with him... At any rate- I was really liking the guy- not sure why he did the sudden switch in attitude and attention.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (23 January 2006):
 It seems to me that there could be a combination of factors here which may have changed his behaviour. Guilt over his daughters suffering being the most obvious I would say. He maybe freaked out on two counts. Scared of getting hurnt himself and maybe he is reluctant to involve you in what looks like a complicated situation.
Without asking him this is all speculation on my part and to a degree your part too. It seems to me that this is where communication is essential. You should tell him that you need to talk but try and couch it in a not too serious way. Then you should sit down and talk to him and ask him what is going on.
Reassure him that you understand his situation is hard and that you understand, merely say that want to be clear where you stand and you are concerned. Also reassure him that you will support him and if he needs to talk then you are there to talk too. Hopefully he will open up and the picture will become much more clear.
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