A
female
age
36-40,
*lasticdreams
writes:Hey!I'm a girl and I'm in a long distance relationship with an other girl, we started dating recently...she had a grilfriend before me of course, but she is my first girlfriend ever, the thing is my girlfriend had this trip planned to visit her best friend since like forever and the ex was already all set up to go...I wasn't thrilled, but I trust my girlfriend, so I went with it, plus we'd have communication with our phones, sadly someone stole her iphone at work a couple of days before going on the trip, she got a cheap cellphone and we texted...the ex didn't know about us because, we are taking it slow and we agreed we wanted our relationship to be more solid so we could actually tell everyone about it, the thing is this ex found out about us, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she had problems going online because of this and that she wasnt having fun since this girl was making all kinds of drama...anyway I decided we had to deal with it as adults and told her not to worry because I trusted her and just to be carefulwell last night I got a facebook message from her ex (yes she totally stalked out her facebook since I don't even write on her wall) pretty much saying she was sorry for me and that I should look for a girl who lived closer to me and was availableSo I texted my gf because, I needed to clear things up, she came online, we chatted and she seemed quite scared, this other girl even hit her and I'm so not down with it... she also said she was worried about me and stuff, but honestly I can take care of myself, I'm worried about her since she is right now being bullied by this stupid girl...my girlfriend is coming to visit next week and I'm a bit worried this girl might just do something stupid...I have no idea what to do about this whole situation, I can't ask my girl to just stop contact with this girl, because let's be honest that would only cause trouble and wouldn't help at all, but I'm not too happy having this girl around messing with her...any advice?
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Unfortunately this is a commom problem with new relationships, and is made worse in your case by the long distance aspect of your relationship.
I know it is frustrating but the best thing you can do is be there to support your girlfriend and of course help her with what is best to do, but in the end to go with she thinks is best and support her through it.
Her ex is clearly jealous and that is why she is acting like this, hopefully in time she will find a new girlfriend of her own and move on from her ex, but untill then the best approach i would say is for you not to talk to her or even respond to any messages she may send you, as clearly she wants a reaction from you.
Maybe it would be best for your gf to cut off contact with her over time, for example dont spend any physical time with her if possible, then only speaking to her if she talks to her first and only respond to messages or text that are not about you or them or anything personal such as that.
Hope this helps some.
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